When your ex bumps into you with their new significant other?

How do you react when your ex shows up at a place you frequent with their new significant other?

Recently had an ex come to the place where we initially met with her new significant other. I wasn't really paying attention but when I did recognize it was her I just acted as if nothing happened and carried on with what I was doing and left.

Should I have handled this differently? How would you act? Was this an attempt to get reaction? Or am I reading too much into it? (would like to note we don't even live in the same country, so this is a pretty difficult thing to pull off on accident)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You handled it perfectly. I'm sure saying "hello" would have been fine, too, but if you were uncomfortable seeing her with someone else, then there really wasn't any sense in making yourself feel more awkward.

    What's amazing is you living in a different country and running into her. Were you visiting family and/or friends?

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    • No she came to the country we initially met in. Now, it wasn't so much a matter of being uncomfortable seeing her with the new BF as it was a matter of the fact that she acted disrespectful when we were involved so I figured, any communication from my end wasn't really owed to her. As such, I just talked to the people I initially came to talk to and then carried on, put my hoody and sunglasses on and walked back out without even looking in her direction.

    • Then you totally did the right thing. You're right, you owe her nothing. You were simply enjoying being where you like to hang out, while she brings a new guy to a place you probably frequently visit? That's a bit tacky and falls right in line with what you said about her being disrespectful throughout your relationship.

      You carried on about your business and decided not to look back. Even if you were subconsciously giving her the middle finger, she deserved it and it's over now, so I wouldn't sweat it.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It sounds like she is deliberately trying to get your attention to see that she's moved on. She wants to show off the new guy she's with so that you know she ended up with "life after you". A bit of game-playing on her part if this was deliberate! But for you, you did exactly the right thing and ignore her. You never know if the guy is a jealous type and could have ruined everyone's day if you made it apparent of who you were. Had she cased you out and tried to introduce you to him, then it would have been an indicator that she doesn't want enemies and everyone on her side seems okay with you two meeting (you and the new guy).

    If it seems like an accident, and who knows, it could be because maybe she showed up some place that was just familiar to her and she liked it, then again, your move of ignoring her was correct.

    People do funny things with their exes to try and get a bit of revenge and one of them might just be, "Oh look, see how I've moved on? See how good looking the guy is that I have now?" If I'm reading too much in to it, sorry - but depending on her personality type and history of this sort of behaviour, only you would know best since you dated her if she's all about appearances and attention.

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  • No you did the right thing just ignore her! she's old news :)

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    • Cool, and what do you think the motivation is behind all this?

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    • Hers... as I said in my other comments she seems to keep popping up like clock work every 4 to 6 months.

    • Hmm. interesting maybe the world is trying to test your patients. and seems like you're the bigger person and just ignoring it. but you over thinking it just seems like you still have feelings for her. if not then why would i bug you

  • If it was my ex then I would ignore them and move on with my day. They probably didn't due it to get a reaction out of me and if they did then I would be glad I didn't give them the satisfaction. That is so childish

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    • Okay, ya so that's what I did pretty much. I just talked to the people I initially came to talk to and then carried on, put my hoody and sunglasses on and walked back out without even looking in her direction.

      Was that the best way of dealing with it?

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    • He doesn't, they both live in a different country that I already know

    • Then restraining order is your best option unless you move.

What Guys Said 4

  • If she is a stalker type with mental issues, you can't possibly guess what is in her head, so you can't possibly respond to whatever she might be thinking. Break up means no more contact, cut the ties, let your relationship become nothing more than memories, and move on. If you do accidentally run in to an ex and she is alone, the decent thing is to be polite and acknowledge her but not engage in any extended conversation. If you encounter her and she is with a new love interest, you should not acknowledge her at all. This did not happen by accident, this is game playing behavior. If you acknowledge her under these circumstances, you are playing the game with her. There is nothing to be gained from that but much to be lost. You instinctively did the right thing. Good for you!

    If you encounter her again, suggesting the possibility of stalking, contact you local authorities to see if there are any services available to protect you from stalking (like an injunction that forbids contact.)

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  • Yes, it sounds like she was trying to embarrass you or hurt your feeings by showing up at the place YOU had first met with a new flame.

    There's no good way to handle that, but I think you took the best route out of the situation.

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  • I. would have done exactly the same. Just as if like nothing happened. However, if she had a nice way of coming up, doing sensible intros, I might just say nice to meet u and wish her and move on.

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  • You did the right thing. She is your EX, so you should get over her. Continue to ignore her, don't even look at her if you two meet again.

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    • Well asking more so because she has a mental issue history, that would involved predatory/stalkerish behavior coupled with physical violence. So I am somewhat concerned she's doing something mental in the background.

    • It is not your business, forget her.

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