I want him, I don't want him... help?

so me and this guys were "together" (it wasn't official, and we both haven't really dated a lot of people before eachother) anyway, we were simple and we made out and kissed a little here and there but then after we hung out i got a super strong feeling that it was wrong and i had to end it, i couldnt get it out of my head so i listened to it. but then we talked and got along really well one day and he texted me asking why we "broke up" and i said it was because i got freaked out because we were moving too fast, and so we got back to our unofficial relationship... we never really texted or talked to eachother, and even when we could hang out or were in the same place we didn't really hang out or talk AT ALL. this really bothered me, a lot. it made me mad at him, i would text him and hed never respond, its like why would you want to be in a relationship with someone you dont even talk to? so i met up with him and told him i felt like we werent working out, that we never talked or hung out or anything and he asked what i wanted to do and i said I don't know, and he sorta broke it off for me... i felt so bad because he looked so hurt :( but anyway, now that we aren't together i miss him AGAIN, whats wrong with me? i keep thinking of what we could have been, but i know that while i was in the relationship it wasn't happening, but now that im out i keep thinking but what if it did? i can't keep putting him thorough my indecisiveness so what do i do? was i right? was i wrong? what if i can't do better than that and i blew it? really low right now :(

  • right thing, let it play out
    Vote A
  • wrong thing, didn't give it a chance... really sad depressed face...
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's a case of "He said, she said" and War of the Roses, Happy Tardigrade, where One of you is ready but the other one is Not raring and without it being etched in stone here, dear-----What's wrong with me?
    I know exactly what you are going through, I go through it all the time. You are this fickle pickle who isn't sure of being in a Real relationship with someone and everytime someone is moving too fast, you grow cold duck feet and wander quickly back into your murky muddle brain waters.
    And of course, when the shoe is on the other webbed foot, when you feel it's not this chase nor challenge now where you are thinking "Now that we aren't together I miss him AGAIN," it's because he is now this apple at the top of the tree, hardest to grab and to get and you can't... forget. However, the minute you have him back into your trusty clutches, it's a full circle pattern of "Here we go again around the mulberry bush."
    As long as you are like this and I am not just saying with just this poor sap, but with Any guy, you will always have problems. My best advice and I have even told this to myself is just stay friends, nurse and nurture a friendship and if it feels like magic and fireworks, then you can begin your beguine... of getting all worked up about him and a potential partnership. This will avoid a lot of redrick with a relationship and hurt feelings as well.
    Any normal guy with feelings and a heart beat will get frustrated playing games with someone who is not sure of anything in life but death and taxes. It's not fair to them and it isn't healthy and after awhile, believe me, it can become a problem child pattern.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 3

  • Well your problem is that you are such a pus**...
    No wonder he broke it off with you.. Cause in the end he got frustrated if your behavior... Of you being scared... Of a relationship or commitment...

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    • He got frustrated cause gave him no chance... no chance to love you for real in a relationship

    • uhh I'm the one who broke it off... sort of, i told him i FELT LIKE it wasn't really working because we never talked or spent time together even though we could have, he sort of ignored me or stopped by for a second then ran off without saying much. i started the ending it, and part of me kinda wanted him to want to work through it, i never said that we should end things just that things weren't how they should be and he got a little frustrated i could tell because i didn't say i wanted to end things or fix things so he was like here's what were gonna do, just friends, is that what you want? and i said is that what you want? and he said well i still really like you, and i said well we never even talk, and he was like what do you want and i said i don't know and then he said the friends thing.

  • Do gym rats LIKE guys who, well, aren't?

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    • ehhhh, i think it depends on the person. Personally I'm pretty hardcore and want someone equally or more hardcore than me, and because fitness is a huge part of my life it would be a little unusual for me to not like someone who shared that ideology. but I'm sure there's exceptions, there always are.

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    • uhhhhhh, of course? haha how could i classify myself as a gym rat if i didn't lift?

    • Lots of people lie

  • You miss being with someone; that doesn't necessarily mean you miss HIM. When you meet the right guy, you won't act hot-and-cold towards him; you'll always want to be with him. This particular guy is feeling it for you, but you're clearly not reciprocating, so don't waste his time. You'll meet plenty of other guys who are right for you, so don't stress over that.

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