Should I take her back for cheating?

My girlfriend has admitted to me that she has cheated on me. She said to me "I have to admit to you that i have had sex with my ex boyfriend since we were together (it was a month ago and never happend again.) i take full responsibility for this, it did not have to do with whatever you did or how you treated me. I would understand if you would never like to see me again. You deserve someone who does not do what i just did. But i would like another chance if possible." The reson why is did this is because i am a virgin who wants to wait till i'm ready (i know that it is weird that i am a guy waiting.) but she had a lot of experience before me and was overcome by urges. Should i take her back. I told her i need time to decide.

  • Give her another chance.
    Vote A
  • Do not give her another chance.
    Vote B
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I decided to forgive her. But not take her back. I told her i hoped she found happyness with someone else.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I believe that everyone deserves a second chance to redeem themselves. If she had done it twice or if she does it a second time, then I would tell you to just forget about her. I think you should give yourself two weeks though, and when time has passed it'll allow you to think more clearly and then you can decide whether or not to continue the relationship or just move on from it.
    Ultimately, it's up to you and whether or not you think you could forgive her. If you do decide to take her back, you guys are going to have a long, serious, in-depth conversation about why she did it. You need to discuss all the details, your feelings, her feelings, just leave everything out in the open and then come up with a solution on how the relationship could improve. You can't hold it against her and bring up what she did in future fights because that's not going to help you guys move forward from this. At the same time, it going to take a while to build up your trust again and she needs to respect that. Do whatever makes you happiest.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • "was overcome by urges"

    That's pathetic. Just because a girl or guy had sex doesn't mean they are suddenly animals who cannot contain themselves or be responsible and HAVE to have sex every time they get a urge. Especially with their ex 0_o
    She doesn't love you if she's willing to cheat on you as simple as that.

    Obviously it's your choice at the end but just a heads up.. I don't see how this will end up good. I have a feeling she'll just cheat again especially considering as to how easy you seem to be to win back after being cheated on...

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    • I really care about this girl. But if she thinks she would be happier with someone else i can't do anything about it. I guess she can't wait too long for sex. I am a virgin and i just want to make sure i am in love and my partner is in love with me before i go all the way.

    • How can you care about someone who doesn't even care about you? I don't want to be rude (really!) but I think it's a bit desperate to cling onto someone who clearly has shown you they have no respect for you or your values. What you are asking for isn't much. If she loved you she would have been willing to respect your wishes. It's not like you are waiting for marriage. Please ask yourself if you think that's how much you are worth...

    • Yeah I guess your right. I will forgive her, but I will not take her back. Thank you so much for helping me with this.

  • You should most certainly not take her back.

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  • hell no don't take that back, thats a pathetic excuse

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  • Trust is broken. It will be very hard to get it back. It's not worth the worry about what she's doing? who's she with? It's possible it will happen again. So I wouldn't stay.

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  • If I were you, I wouldn't give her second chance. Once a cheater, always a cheater

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    • People can change though right.

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    • Sorry to hear about that.

    • It's okay. I'm actually happy. Really. Cause he was a jerk, didn't let me hang out with my guy/girl friends and use to be very suspicious. Happy I got rid of him. Lol

  • I don't really believe the "overcome by urges" part. There must be more behind it, especially since it happened with her ex.

    I can't tell you whether you should take her back or not, that's for you to decide. However, it does seem like you and her want different things. While I don't believe she was overcome by urges, I do think that she wants sex in a relationship – and you do not. This is why I'd rethink being with this girl if I were you.

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    • It's not that I don't want sex. I just want my first time to be special.

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    • I don't mean wait till marriage. I just want to be sure Im in love with and she is in love with me.

    • Oh I see. Fair enough. That makes complete sense and is what everyone should be doing in my opinion. I still find it strange she had sex and blames some urges she supposedly couldn't control. I'm in a long distance relationship so don't have sex regularly and I don't ever have these urges that make me go and have sex with someone other than my boyfriend. So I'm thinking it is a lame excuse and she should at least own up to it and not act like it was basically out of her control.

What Guys Said 7

  • So in the future, let's say you have a business trip and she has urges, this will make it okay to do so again? I doubt it.

    Having been there myself and taking someone who had only confessed to being interested in another man (no cheating) and blamed this as the reason to our break-up... I would tell you honestly that you will have trust issues that will drive you crazy. She disrespected you by doing this... If she had such urges and didn't know what she was doing, she would have told you about it. She didn't, she acted on an urge and put your relationship in jeoprody and knowingly.

    This is a major decision depending on you only. It depends on how forgiving you are but for me, that would have made me end/cut all contact with her.

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  • I get that she was honest about it, and even regretted it at that, but the main thing is, she cheated on you and there's no coming back from that. How do you really know she won't do it again. In my personal experience I have had taken them back before, but regretted right away because eventually they cheated again. I'm not going to say that it's going to happen to you, but the chances are it's more likely. If you care about her, just let her go and move on.

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  • Typically I would say heck no

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  • It all depends on, can you actually erase that awful information from your mind and life and trust her with all your heart. It I was you then I would probably be thankful to her for telling and move on because I surely can't process that information in a constructive way.

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  • She was honest... so i guess she deserves another chance basically...: -)

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  • you would be an absolute fool to take her back. trust me, she has done it once, she will do it again.

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  • She admit and you think about another chance !! Cheat is one of few mistakes that its unvorgivble

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