Breakup gone bad... so upset I can't even breathe. Did he even mean anything he said before?

My ex and I broke up less than two days ago, I made it pretty clear that I wanted to end things before we sat down& talked. He has a substance abuse issue and is in denial about them. Duringthe convo, he expressed wanting to break up also (gave no reason, it was clear I wanted to break up with him and he wanted things to appear mutual) & wanting to remain friends. then I started to lash out, lost my temper, because he seemed not to care & because he offended me by wanting to breakup when I was nothing but good to him. Anyway, I ended up saying a ton of stuff I should have never said, about many things. worst I said was admitting that i had been talking to someone else for awhile now, andtold him how i was on a date (only a hour after we broke up) which i know was uncool. I had been talking to someone else, but I had not pursued anything and rejected his advances. Then he got mad, and told me that I was disloyal, and told me to go be with my new guy now that i had a new person to play with". He kept responding to me telling me to stop texting him, he was going to block me but I checked and he didn't. next morning I apologized, I explained why i lashed out and clarified some things, wishing him the best. i saw that he read it. Today I sent a short message saying that I always cared for him and still do, how i liked the sober josh i met, but couldn't deny the substance problem any longer, & i said if he ever needed me id be here. He replied, "For the sixth, maybe seventh time now, please stop messaging me. I Wish you and your new boyfriend nothing but the best. finalgoodbye."I just dont understand. less than a week ago we were making plans for the summer, making plans to go to games, to do stuff in the city, we had been talking about fall.. i told him on multiple occasions that if he didn't want to be to be with me i didn't expect anything committed from him, he said he wanted to be with me, it was more than just casual, and that I was important tohim. im so upset.. why?

Updates:
i know it was very immature, i regret saying the stuff about the other guy.
i tend to be very emotional and get offended easily, so i think thats why that happened.
and yes, i wish he fought for me, but i knew he wouldn't. i just got upset, i loved the sober guy i met. it was just so sad to get to know him and see him put weed before his family, his relationships, school, :( oh well.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sure he meant everything he said before, but when you ended the relationship, that changed everything. Putting myself in his shoes, I would keep my distance from a woman who ended our relationship. That being said, you did the right thing to end the relationship. He can't have a healthy relationship with you if he has a substance abuse problem, and he seems to be the only one who doesn't see that.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, you chose to break up with him, sometimes it goes like this...
    Really were you expecting him to beg and chase after you?
    And your comment about dating another man so soon after, just to get a re-action is amazingly immature

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    • Unless your ego is just hurt

What Girls Said 1

  • He just needs his space

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