How to stop loving someone who's bad for you?

I am so incredibly in love with a man who is not good for my spirit.
I love this man so much. I would probably lay down my life for him. I have risked so much for him, to be the one taking care of his heart. We are broken up and in my mind I know it's right, but in my heart I just love him so much and it's taking everything I have in me not to text him and pour my heart out or show up on his doorstep and kiss him all over.

He has caused so much pain, stress, and drama. I can't bring him back into my life. I just can't... but the love I have for him is so powerful that I can barely even fight it. Please help me out. I don't know what to do. I love him sooo much. I'd let him have one of my eyeballs if he needed one. I really am at a lost for a solution... advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hon, you're putting this guy above yourself and I guess you have a nasty habit of filling your thoughts with him even though you're strong and logically know it's no good. I've been there and it sucks. The only way out is through. You have to fill your head with other puzzles and your time with other people. Get committed to something (a hobby or a charity/project), find something else to fix, something that matters! Meet new people and make a point of connecting with your nearest and dearest, regularly, to find out how they are doing. This should crowd out unwanted thoughts. Make a list of nearest and dearest and new people who matter and write about the positives they bring to your life. Don't put him on the list. Burn everything you have of his, delete his number, ask your mutual friends not to speak about him. Keep a journal of all the positive things you now have and all the things you are grateful for each day. Any or all of these options.

    Right now, you are still young, but time gets away from you. Before you know it, all the good ones will be married or partnered up and will have kids with other women. Do NOT waste another second on this man, except to wish him the best on his path which is now separate from yours. I'm sure he will move on. People who hurt others are great at survival. Don't find yourself pining, resentful and single with a ticking biological clock while he has met someone new, cleaned up his act and started a family. You will regret it forever. This applies to all the men who do not last in your life.

    The right one will find you when you are doing what you most care about and you are living a fulfilled and passionate existence. Don't make him wait, hon! Get out there and be a superstar!

    Best wishes,


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • there are 7,310,758,891 people out there. you can find another and spend your whole life on them. don't focus on what's in front of you. focus on what's behind that thing.

    • but how do I get over the feeling?

  • I feel like my ex feels the same way about me.. I'm mot good for her. I hurt her a lot and her parents finally ended things it was an ultamtum them vs me. Her family won. She went out cold. How did u end thins with him keep a strong chin and just tell him or did u show all your emotion

    • wait what's your question?

    • Show All
    • No, I don't understand your side. You were a bad communicator. So was she but at least she was taking good care of your heart and you didn't have to tell her how to treat you right.

    • How did you ex hurt you what did he do

What Girls Said 3

  • It's really hard but you just have to stay away because you know if you go back its Gunna be bad. No matter how badly u wanna message him even a hi or are you ok don't whatever you do don't message him it will make it a million times harder

  • You should turn the tv off while you jerk off on Internet

  • Waited it out, don't force yourself. Allow yourself to love him, it'll eventually go away and maybe you'll see him as just a friend only. He'll always has a special place in you heart allow that, like any other friend. its OK, but sense there's no you or him start also distancing yourself out of sight out of mind. It make life easier to move on.


Recommended myTakes