Most Helpful Guy
Wow! Your story sounds nearly identical to my wife's first long term relationship. They were together 5 years, and she never cheated and he never threatened her physically or anything, but while she was working her way through college, all her boyfriend did was sit around and smoke dope. It got so bad, she realized there wasn't much of a future with this guy beyond acting like life was one big constant party.
She broke it off and never looked back. Oh he was sad and upset, but after spending enough time with someone, you end up knowing whether you want to be with them longer, which she did not, and it sounds like neither do you.
The rest of the opinion writers gave you some really excellent advice, and I'll just echo what the majority said in that you definitely should leave. You're no longer in love with him like you used to be, and the emotional cheating came from you missing something from him he was not giving you. He wants to hang around and be a deadbeat, while you want to embrace your youth and explore the exciting life ahead of you.
It's a no brainer; leave and don't look back, ever. Be thankful for what you've learned and experienced, but be excited about your future which should start today as a single woman.
Most Helpful Girl
... In those 3 years I've kinda cheated in him every year...
I can understand Why here dear, with him being as Abusive that he has been with you. I see it has been nothing but war of the Roses and Continuing spiraling down a beaten path and on top of this, You being this loser's Enabler to keep him going and flowing with his antics and actions, not to mention his bad habits that need serious professional help with.
I am surprised you haven't gotten out by now, missbee, but many times we have to hit rock bottom and even then, it could be too late.
End the madness now and bid him good-bye. You have a bright new future waiting for you and being in a LDR is Not going to improve this already dead end relationship. However, dumping this dude will begin your own beguine of moving on and leaving him and his bad boy baloney in the past.
If he becomes a Ptoblem child, get a restraining order but stick to your guns. He has most likely killed a lot of love you once had for him and in the end... he could end up killing you with less kindness.
Good luck and my blessings for a new future. xx