Should I break it off?

So my bf have been together for 3years... in those 3 years I've kinda cheated on him every year not cheating physically but you know just talking to guys, because I felt there's someone that'll treat me better than him. Before recently I got caught texting other guys again he would black out and be mad and abusive kind of in words and also physically like punching and punching my arms over little things and also one point recently he pulled a knife on me to get me out of the house cuz he was mad. Another reason is I'll be starting my esthetic career out here and our initial plan was moving up to Washington state so he can work with and for his family. But I don't know if I love him as deep as before anymore. Is he worth having a long distance relationship with? I'm 23 and I don't want to get married yet or have a family I want to be around my own family, and also do me. he's my first ever bf... eversince we had our chat and he confronted me and I told him why I've been talking to other guys he changed a lot in his anger issue but I can still see it and I don't know how long it can stay controlled and calm for. He acts like a baby when he's sick and also gets cranky for no reason. I just need you guys on this opinion.
And also all he does is smoke weed and doesn't like doing anything I want to do or have the nerve inside him to be romantic and adventurous in surprising me with a place I feel like I'm trapped in a city girl that loves exploring food and new spots and he's just one villager that all he really knows is his own town. He's willing to try it but I think it's not enough for me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow! Your story sounds nearly identical to my wife's first long term relationship. They were together 5 years, and she never cheated and he never threatened her physically or anything, but while she was working her way through college, all her boyfriend did was sit around and smoke dope. It got so bad, she realized there wasn't much of a future with this guy beyond acting like life was one big constant party.

    She broke it off and never looked back. Oh he was sad and upset, but after spending enough time with someone, you end up knowing whether you want to be with them longer, which she did not, and it sounds like neither do you.

    The rest of the opinion writers gave you some really excellent advice, and I'll just echo what the majority said in that you definitely should leave. You're no longer in love with him like you used to be, and the emotional cheating came from you missing something from him he was not giving you. He wants to hang around and be a deadbeat, while you want to embrace your youth and explore the exciting life ahead of you.

    It's a no brainer; leave and don't look back, ever. Be thankful for what you've learned and experienced, but be excited about your future which should start today as a single woman.


Most Helpful Girl

  • ... In those 3 years I've kinda cheated in him every year...
    I can understand Why here dear, with him being as Abusive that he has been with you. I see it has been nothing but war of the Roses and Continuing spiraling down a beaten path and on top of this, You being this loser's Enabler to keep him going and flowing with his antics and actions, not to mention his bad habits that need serious professional help with.
    I am surprised you haven't gotten out by now, missbee, but many times we have to hit rock bottom and even then, it could be too late.
    End the madness now and bid him good-bye. You have a bright new future waiting for you and being in a LDR is Not going to improve this already dead end relationship. However, dumping this dude will begin your own beguine of moving on and leaving him and his bad boy baloney in the past.
    If he becomes a Ptoblem child, get a restraining order but stick to your guns. He has most likely killed a lot of love you once had for him and in the end... he could end up killing you with less kindness.
    Good luck and my blessings for a new future. xx


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Oh yeah sure, I would love to stay with someone who threatens me with a knife. You should already know the answer to this question, find someone that's better for yoy. Before you do that though, grow up first and stop talking to other guys while you're in a relationship.


What Girls Said 1

  • As you already know, as you've stated it many times in your post, this is not the right person for you. First of all, a man does put his hands on you for ANY reason, that alone should be enough for you to walk away knowing it's the right thing to do. Look, I know three years is a long time to be with someone, and it's scary to turn away from that and start all over on your own. That amount of time with someone, they start to become a part of your identity, in a way. You have to make a decision if you want this type of person to be a part of your identity. In my opinion, the best possible thing that can happen is he moves away to WA, and you move forward with your life without him in it. You can "try" the long distance thing, and use that as a way to phase him out of your life. Once you get used to him not being around, it will be easier for you to end it permanently. You are very young, and don't need to make decisions for your life based upon a ticking time bomb who you "don't know how long it can stay controlled an calm for". I wish you luck, use this as a growing experience to make better choices in all areas of your life. Take care!


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