How do I get my sis out of a toxic friendship?

There's my little sis.. very young and naive.. and there's this clever outgoing friend of hers who made my sis friends with a guy on fb.. soon they start texting and sharing photos.. she is so gullible and sweet to this guy.. she is too frank and too soon.. its been only about a week or few more days. I know she has to have her privacy but she is too immature for relationships and stuff besides she is busy in her studies at this time. I talk it out with her and she realises that its not the right time to indulge in love relationships, also this is not the right way to find decent people. You can agree that we are a bit conservative family. And just as soon she explains him that she wants to leave because of the precarious and weak nature of online relationships this guy tells him that he had fallen in love with her but she should leave as she wants. Then my sis feels even worse that she is had made a guy fall for her and she has to leave. She does. She liked him but its not love at all. How can it be? Now when she tells this her outgoing friend she instead of understanding her situation and comforting her sends her stories and pics of how some girl friend of her got committed to some guy. This makes her feel so bad and guilty. I think this person was purposefully trying to set my sis with that guy. Should I do something? but what? I don't want to sound controlling and over protective but this just doesn't sound good to me. I care for her like she were my own kid. This girl friend of hers has gotten close to her. But she sound to be manipulative and insensitive to me. What should I do?
but did you notice the main question was not about this guy but the girl who got my sis involved in it..


Most Helpful Girl

  • How old is your sister and how old is this guy? Most brothers are over-protective of their sisters, so it's natural that you'd want to put a stop to what's going on.

    If he told her he loved her after a week, I think that's BS. He might be lusting after her (which is very different to being in love), but no way could he fall in love that quickly. Your sister seems young and inexperienced so of course she'd believe him, so good for you for helping her realize she needed to end it with him. I'm sure she'll feel guilty about it for a while, so remind her that if he apparently fell in love with her after exchanging a few messages and not even meeting her in person, he could easily do that with any other online girl. Gently let her know that it's likely the guy didn't have genuine feelings for her and that she was smart for not letting things go any further.

    As for your sister's friend, you don't know what her intentions were. Maybe she was trying to be helpful by setting her friend up with the guy, or maybe she just wanted to have some fun and see how far your sister would go to be with him. If anything, caution your sister to distance herself a little from the friend since she wasn't supportive when your sister needed her to be. But don't tell her to stop being friends with the girl as that could result in your sister turning on you - first you make her end things with the guy and then you tell her not to be friends with the girl anymore? That's being too controlling.

    Now that the communication between your sister and the guy has stopped, your sis probably needs her school friends around her so they can comfort her and study with her. School should definitely be her #1 concern right now.

    • Thanks for MHO, hope my answer did actually help you.

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    • Alright. Well, it's good that this situation has brought you and your sister closer together, but you should definitely continue to look out for her. I'm sure she'll meet more guys whose intentions aren't exactly honourable, and with any luck you'll realize it before she does.

    • Yes, I will. I hope that with time she will realize what she has just bought for herself: freedom to grow as an individual, and become a mature person. Thank you again.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Trust me I've been through it, just like her a little, it doesn't end well, if she didn't leave that guy she has to, I got involved and it screwed my life up and that's how it all started, I tried to leave and felt bad, so I stayed, bad choice. Tell her that it's super bad and just that you'll help her if she finds someone in real life maybe

    • I told her this and she understood but felt bad for ending it like this. She is young and there's no hurry. I told her with all my love for her. She got out though telling that guy to stop the conversations. why did he have to tell her all that in the end to make it even harder for her knowing that she won't stay? like putting a string on her? I hate that opportunistic bastard.

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    • I just believed everything he said, stuff slowly got just into lies and things snowballed into stuff I can't even believe I believed, I'm glad she can talk to you about it, I came out with a damaged heart and a lot of emotional issues and such

    • but did you notice the main question was not about this guy but the girl who got my sis involved in it?

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