When to contact my ex girlfriend?

I dated my ex for a year and a half. One month ago she dumped me. After about a month of no contact, me ex called me and left a voicemail saying she really needs to talk to me. She said it was really important and sounded exremely sad on the phone. So I called her back for the first time and talked to her. She was saying how she really misses me and regrets a whole lot of the decsions she's made. She also mentioned how her grandmother has recently become very sick. So I offered to meet up with her sometime this weekend setting a date. I told her vaguely just to be nice if she needs to talk about this let me know (my mistake). She's been calling and texting me non-stop for the past two days as well as leaving voicemails. It seems pretty ugrent and there are a few new problems she really wants to talk to me about. I haventy answered any of these messages and she's is starting to get upset with me. Almost all my friends and my mom and dad are telling me not to answer. They say she broke up with you and now she needs you to talk to... not cool. There like she has friends to talk to (not really because there all really shitty people) and her mother which again i dont know about because I think its money issues with her divorced parents. The issue with me is that I'm a really heart felt person, and still care about this girl. I would really like pick up the phone and try to help her, but everyone else is like you can't just go back to her beconing call and help her whenever she needs it. My parents and a few friends are saying to just forget about her. She phones saying she needs to meet with lawyers on the weekend and would really like to talk to me before and if were still on. Everyone is saying just move on but I can't, I want to talk to her. The issue is if I do I become very soft, especially for this girl. I dont want to stay on the phone for a while cuz I might say something I might regret. And she may want to get back togther which I don think I want to do right now! Should I call and put my mind at ease or wait it out?

Updates:
She phoned me earlier yesterday which I didn't pick up cuz I want to be the one who phones her... I know it sounds weird but it makes me feel in control. She left a voicemail basically saying to meet up at Starbucks on Saturday between 1-2, and was like I'm planing because you don't seem to be making any. Other reason I didn't call right away. I end up calling her later that night, it rang once and went straight to voicemail. She blocked me. Do I leave a voicemail or what should I do?

0|0
25

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm siding with your parents and friends on this. I'm sure to her some issues are bad, but I believe she's emphasizing the urgency to get you to respond.

    The anger she's experiencing in you not responding is her own doing, and she sounds a bit controlling if you ask me. If her friends are shitty, then that's also half her fault, since you have a choice who your friends are and who you choose to hang out with.

    You seem like a really good guy, and there's nothing wrong with being heartfelt and sensitive. You gave your heart to this girl, and apparently that wasn't good enough. She didn't seem to be in such a state of "urgency" when she broke up with you to most likely pursue someone else. And now that guy's used her, she's sad and lonely and feels like using you for her benefit.

    Of course you have feelings for her. You loved her and cared about her and I'm sure you still do. However, she's now interrupting your healing process, making it that much harder to get over her and move on, where you can meet someone who truly gives a shit about you.

    Let her be mad, and as tragic as things are in people's lives, everyone has to deal with them, and it's not your responsibility to help someone who shit on you.

    Don't call her back. Just ignore her.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Think about it this way. It's been a month of no contact from her. Then suddenly bam? I get it, she's having issues in her life that are stressing you out; however, you are not the person to turn to. I don't feel that she wants to be back in a relationship, she just wants someone to make it all better.

    I agree that you shouldn't be the one to help her. If you do, she might get back with you, temporarily, until she is back "on her feet". Insert another catastrophe, and she'll run back again.

    It's up to you... Do you wanna be THE ONE or just the fall back guy? Make some standards and stick with them!

    1|1
    0|0
    • @Katastrophy I completely agree in she's just using him as a fall back guy because the other guy she dumped this poor guy for got what he wanted and left her without anyone to control.

  • Well, there's nothing wrong with talking to her. BUT if you still care about her and you get soft, especially for that girl, maybe it's a better idea to stay away. As Katastrophy said, she could just get back with you temporarily until she's back on her feet. She could use you for that if you just give in that easily.
    But you're saying you want to talk to her. If you do that, do it. If you still care for her, that's good, tells me you're a good guy, but do not forget why the two of you broke up in the first place, and just be careful if you decide to talk to her. Either way, it's up to you, good luck :)

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Why did she dump you, in the first place?

    0|0
    0|0
    • She wanted to have fun basically. She said she was going away next year, and possibly to school in Dublin and back to Europe which is where she went for two weeks before dumping me the day she got back. She doesn't want me to be the only guy she's been with. Now she's taking a year off to finish high school.

    • So, because the whole thing is a month old. Have you talked her recently? And what's been happening with that?

  • Yeah totally call her and talk it out. Nothing wrong with that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe she regretted that she dumped you or maybe she need some support then leave again like she's useing you to support herself. If she ask money forget about it move on

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would call her back to be polite, but if she starts playing mind games or gets weird and manipulative, then leave her ass alone FOR GOOD!!!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;