Confused about breaking up?

Hello,

I have been with a girl 4 years, she cheated on me once but i forgive her because I was not giving her enough attention. Last two years we saw we were quite different and I was more and more cold even though she needed atention. One day we considered we should take a break. After one month of break I met someone else and saw that I can have feelings again. Problem is that my ex was devastated and she says that she loves me more than ever now and would do anything to have me back. I do not have strong feelings anymore for her but she is a very good girl and I pity her. I don't know what to do...

Updates:
I feel like hurting her so much being with this other girl...
Is it normal for me to be hurt also, I keep thinking she accepted me as I was and no one else will. I only know the new girl for a few days but my ex was at my side for 4 years :((
It turns out the other one was not really into me, I'm alone now, I don't really know what I want lately to be honest... :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hug her tell her she'll be fine and will love again one day but at this moment you believe it'll be healthier to try something new. Tell her your just as frightened as she is because no one knows what life has to offer but you'd rather try something new to cling on to something that hasn't worked and suggest she do the same. Tell her it's all good to contact you but you think it'll be better if you both tried to go without and move on. Or in other words. Make it all about her and growth and health usually these things make moving on easier and quicker for most

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • She cheated on youuuuuuuuuuuu. Just move on.

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    • cheating was 2 years ago but you're right anyway

  • Classic signs of codependency!
    Get away from her whilst you are still alive

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    • Also, all cheats are narcissists. You cannot be truly happy with a narc

    • @Anonymous I totally agree with both your posts. She's a control freak who wants what she can't have, and is trying to manipulate this poor guy into feeling bad.

What Guys Said 1

  • Hi,

    I think you should move on with this girl you now have feelings for and let your ex go. She violated your trust before, which you very graciously forgave, but I believe there was a reason or more as to why you were cold and distant with her.

    It takes two in a relationship, and maybe she wasn't providing something that's really important to you that ultimately turned you off.

    I think her reaction to your new girlfriend isn't terribly out of the ordinary, but it also shows signs of control and manipulation. Basically, she wants what she can't have, and she wants you all to herself, regardless of how hot and heavy you are.

    You can tell her you will always appreciate and care about her, but honestly, you owe her nothing. She may bring up the cheating thing, but without going into too much detail, just tell her your feelings have changed to the point you're ready to move on.

    It's never worth sticking around a relationship where you're not happy; especially if it's depriving you of being with someone you truly want to be around more. Not every relationship is going to work out, and it's pretty obvious the one you were just in is one of those casualties every one of us experiences.

    Move on, enjoy your new girlfriend and good luck.

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