How do I get rid of this hate?

I caught my boyfriend cheating. We were together for 3 years. The man I used to love so much is now the man I despite. I don't want to see him or hear about him ever again. But it's been a month and I still often think about him and how much I hate him. I know I need to forgive him in order to set myself free and move on, but I simply can't... How do you deal with it? I need some good quotes that I can tell to myself every time this wave of hate splashes me over...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I hate it when people say "you need to forgive them to set yourself free."

    Fuck that, I never forgave anyone who told me I couldn't lose weight and make something of my life.

    I held onto that anger for years, I let it drive me forward when I went to the gym. I let it drive me forward when I was at business meetings.

    Hate, can be VERY damn useful. There is no fuel that burns hotter on this Earth than hate.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You don't need to forgive him. You just need to let him, and your opinion of him, float away, like bubbles on a stream, into your past, as you move on into your future.

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  • I'm sorry for what you went through... try meditation. Sit with your eyes closed for about 20 mins and let all the thoughts come into your mind but try not to dwell on any one in particular. Repeat 2 times daily... it has helped me a lot.

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  • Since it's fresh it's not gonna go away anytime soon. You can't force forgiveness, it happens when you get to a point where you are no longer affected by what happened. I've been in your shoes, many have been in your shoes. In my opinion you gotta just let the venom run its course, but at the same time do little things to make yourself better. Like leaning something new to occupy your mind. The feeling of accomplishment in learning something new is a big booster to yourself esteem.

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  • Its really not a big deal for a guy to want some extra on the side

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  • The hate you feel for someone who betrays you is equal to the trust you had in them.

    Two years later, I'm in a great relationship, but hateful thoughts of my cheating ex still happen daily. It's becoming less strong and less often with time, but they're still there.

    Letting it go completely is... Difficult. If anyone knows a way to push it along, I'm down to try it.

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  • It's natural, it'll turn into disgust soon enough and that's easier to handle.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Just remember here, dear, even if you were to take him back tomorrow, you could Never Ever trust him again. You deserve better than this lousy loser and cheat sheet.
    "When one door closes, another one opens..." Someday, after you have licked your war wounds and with time passing by, so will the hurt in your heart and the man that Thankfully... got away.
    Good luck. xx

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  • You don't need to forgive a cheater. Ever.

    You need to realize this person is an asswipe that doesn't deserve a place in your thoughts, not for a second.

    He betrayed your trust, your love, all the memories, because he was selfish. He didn't care about you. If he did, he wouldn't have cheated. All he cared about was sexual release and a thrill on the side, while at the same time having a faithful girlfriend that's always there for his convenience.

    Don't ever forgive him. He doesn't deserve it.

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  • I can relate. Just realize that the hate you're feeling is only going to hurt YOU, not him.

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    • Yeah you're right about that...

  • Here are two quotes that might help
    1- "you did the wrong thing to the right girl"
    2- "Im not crying becasue of you: you're not worth it. I'm crying becuase my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.

    Just remind yourself daily that you are great person and deserve better. It was nothing about you that caused this to occur it was something inside of him that made this occur.

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  • I do not know what religion you follow (if you do follow a religion) but the best advice about forgiveness is in the bible.
    If you are interested, biblegateway. com is a great site for finding specific scriptures on certain topics. Just type in "forigiveness" in the search bar, click on a scripture, and be open minded about what it says.

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