All men cheat and lie, even my boyfriend.. Confused?

I have the hard time trusting my boyfriend. Just men in general. I always have even if this is my first boyfriend. I am starting to think it has something to do with my self esteem, image and worth. No way all men are cheaters and always lusting over someone else when they got a good one at home. No way, but in my head this is reality…

When me and my boyfriend first start dating I would be okay with him going out clubbing with his friends. I didn't care if he texted me or not. My though was always… He is a grown guy. He controls himself. He makes his own decisions, while he was out I would focus on other stuff (I still do this) This was three years ago.. Lasted for two years into the relationship..

For the past nine months I am noticing that I am getting more disappointed when he wants to go out and club. I get a bit unsure and uncomfortable. I want him to have fun, but after some small episode (telling me about girls that flirts with him, pretty girls adding him on Facebook, talking to girls at night…etc) this trust has kinda vanished. I don't feel that secure anymore.

Some of these things mentioned is just minor things, but after getting to know him better and having a deeper connection.. I feel slightly jealous and bothered this time than I did those two years.. He has never done anything for me to doubt him, he even sends me messages and pictures thought the day "while clubbing out with his friends" (he does it voluntary)… I trust him more then… but still I feel insecure. I know he loves me, he threat me like a queen, post picture of me on his facebook and thinks I am perfect for him. But still I feel insecure. I feel like he is gonna cheat, find someone better, do something stupid (If he fucks up once. I will not take him back.. NOP). I just want to stop feeling this way and trust him 100% and be okay with everything he does.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • hmm... I feel so sad every time i hear something like this. No women deserves to feel unloved... and i guess that is why we need to start focusing on boys when they are young and teach them to be real gentleman (most boys are just left to develop on their own). It would kill me to cheat on my wife. Its so difficult to gauge your situation... if my wife and i have issues like this... we have the kind of relationship where we talk about it and more often that not we understand each other. Try approaching him about your insecurity and see what he has to say.. I have seen cases where guys cheat and some genuinely don't... go with your instincts... i hope it all works out for you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • personally i'd NEVER cheat if i was in a serious relationship and if i ever wanted 2 cheat i'd ASK 1st basically... if she was ok with it

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  • Not all men as u know, boys cheat and lie but men don't, it sounds weird in English actually

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  • All men no I'm not of them

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  • heza fuken idiot

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  • I'd never cheat, but unfortunately a lot of people are stupid

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  • Women do as well

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    • I didn't say women don't. I know a lot of girls that has cheated on their boyfriend... When a girl cheats she is unhappy with something. It isn't for sex (usually).

    • Well don't you think men do it for that exact same reason. Miscommunication!

What Girls Said 2

  • You need to be grateful. I'd kill to have boyfriend who treats me like a queen. So would many single girls who crave a boyfriend a relationship. Sure he might not be 100% perfect all the time ( no one is) but I think your wake up call needs to be in realizing how lucky you are to have a guy. At least you have somebody in your life who loves and values you. I'd give anything to have that and it sucks to be alone. Your boyfriend sounds like a good guy to me and hasn't seemed to do anything that should make you question his faithfulness.

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    • I am really not that girl that depend on a guy to make me happy. Yes I am happy and appreciate that I have the kindest boyfriend. Many girl would die to have him.. but at the end of the day it is just a bonus to have a boyfriend. The love I have for myself and my own security is more important than having a boyfriend, so him disrespecting me even once is not even an option. I am not taking a guy back, I am respecting myself first. Always.

    • Wait I didn't realize he has cheated on you. Obviously nobody wants a cheating boyfriend.

  • You shouldn't trust anyone. Their true identity can always change through time. Why is he going clubbing without you? If he really liked you he would spend time with you more than going to the clubs. I would feel insecure too if my boyfriend goes to club and dance with random girls.

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    • Well. I really don't know. Is a trust thing I guess.. He spends a lot of time with me too, but some of his friends are single, so when they ask him to go with them.. he says yes. Tells me. I am nervous about what I am saying yes to, but I still say "ok".. sometimes he message/take pictures me.. tells me he misses me, sometime he doesn't.. It has become a thing I guess.

      I don't know if he dances with other girls.. but. Yea. I don't know. I have little control I see. :(

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