My boyfriend is currently going through a rough time due to his past and I've been trying to help him through it. The problem is that I feel like he relies on me too much to feel good and I just don't want to be responsible for someone else's well-being. Of course, I do want to be there for him but I'm having trouble figuring out where the lines are with supporting and enabling.
All this has made me think about how we first started dating. He was also going through the same thing then, and looking back, it makes me wonder if the main reason he was interested in me was because I provided him with some sort of an "out" from his issues. I don't think he can be okay on his own, and if that's the case, how am I (and how would he know for himself, for that matter) supposed to know if he's with me because he wants to be or because he needs to be? I'm just really confused, honestly. I obviously care about him a lot but realizing all this has made me feel extremely uneasy. It seems like it really doesn't matter who he's with - as long as it's someone, and looking at his dating history, he's never been single for more than a month or so. I don't want to be unfair to myself because my feelings are actually genuine, nor do I want to help him perpetuate his dependency issues, if that's what they are. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Most Helpful Guy
I went through this same thing with a girl. If you do break it off be careful. When we ended it she made up lies about me and hurt me badly. She even dated a girl right after, I'm pretty sure just to mess with me. It worked. I spent so much time trying to help her that I lost myself and become as messed up as her. Be careful and think about a good way to end it. But I do think you have to end it.3
Most Helpful Girl
Find someone without baggage, its an unnessary burden on you1