I just realize that I was an abusive partner in my former relationship towards my ex-boyfriend. Help?

After stumbling upon a website, I realized that I verbally abused my ex on numerous occasions by calling him a variety of nasty, mean, awful names. This wasn't a daily or even weekly habit. It would only happen when he did something legitimate to upset me and stir up anger such as encouraging a homewrecker to make advances by including and inviting her on his social media. Or sleeping with another girl during a break-up. Or straightup lying to my face about the details of who another female was. He would do sneaky, disrespectful, shady things that bothered me and gave me a right to be angry, but when I got angry, I WAS VICIOUS. Absolutely vicious.
I can gaurantee I have said things to him that he will remember for the rest of his life. The pain he gave me transformed into rage after so long and I made damn sure he realized it. When we officially broke up, I repeatedly called him a nasty whore, dumb ass fucking slut, piece of shit, dog, pig, dirty skank, told him his heart was worthless, told him to make sure he doesn't start wearing his seatbelt and continues to drive the way he does so that he can get into an accident and do humanity a favor, told him to "go home and die" *he's a refugee from a war torn country, said that his death would be doing the female gender a favor, called him a snake, a bastard, said his mother would be humiliated for creating him if she only knew how dirty he was, said his other ex would be so glad she chose another man over him if she only realized how dirty his concious and dick were... just all types of awful things.

Apart of me wants to apologize for wishing him death and literately attacking him with any hurtful thing possible yet another part of me feels like he abused and mistreated the warm, loving side of me so much that he deserves a taste of the cold, mean side. What should I do? How can I prevent myself from every doing that again?

Updates:
FYI he backstabbed me, screwed me over, destroyed our bond, and completely shitted all over me before I lost my cool, lost my grace, lost my patience, and ripped him a new asshole.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow. Well obviously you handled that wrong. You should never attack someone's self-worth... even if he is scum. lol

    However, it is great that you broke that drama off. I give you props. I do suggest you won't on your own anger issues so it doesn't become a repeat occurrence in future relationships.

    If you regret those words and feel you should apologize for going too far, sure. Write him a letter, get it all out and cut it back off. Realize I am not saying apologize for the relationship or give any indication you wanna get back together, but to apologize for YOUR actions. I don't like having regrets, and if this will weigh on your mind as such, you owe it to yourself to remedy it.

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  • Whores will be whores.. what can ya do :/? Don't feel bad!

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