Is it creepy or mature to approach an ex who is trying to ignore you?

So, I broke with an ex awhile ago. She is beautiful and is not used to getting dumped. I never know deal with exes.

I saw her recently and we ignored each other at first. I thought this was rather silly and immature. So, later in the evening, I approached her, asked how she was doing, I offered to buy her a drink (she declined as she already had one, but said I could buy her one later. Later never came as she and I spend the rest of the evening with our respective friends), and I told her that I thought she looked great (she replied by saying the same to me).

Was all this too much? I don't want to be the creepy ex-boyfriend, but I think ignoring is petty.

Would you ladies prefer that an ex (especially an ex that broke up with you) leave you alone completely, wave a hello, or make brief, polite conversation

What makes things even more awkward is that we are in the same church community and have a mutual friend in common.

Ladies, thanks for your thoughts.
Thanks, ladies. I ended it as cleanly as possible. In person and over dinner. She did still cry and I felt guilty. She is not a bad person, but she is a bit of a princess with certain expectations from guys. This is someone who is used to getting hit on all the time.

Perhaps offering to buy a drink was a bit much. Her birthday was coming up and I wanted to acknowledge that. But, considering I broke up with her last her before bday maybe not. But, I did offer and she was not rude.
RationalLioness brings up another point: aren't women the ones who usually do the dumping

Is it even more painful when a guy dumps a woman, especially if the woman is attractive and used to the one doing the dumping. This was the case with my ex.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate when mine contacts me, it's either to humilate me or laugh at me with another female to call me names like ugly and rubbish in bed etc .

    But you seem different to him nothing wrong in casually talking to someone it's only creepy if you do as I've described above

    • Thanks... I would never contact an ex just to berate or humiliate her. If I can't say anything positive, I won't say anything at all.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Depends on the reason. You didn't seem to act out in an irrational way, so I don't think it was creepy.

    I would prefer NOT talking to an ex if he dumped me... or even if I dumped him. I've never been dumped though... unless if I count that one time in the 5th grade...

  • Someone mentioned being civil only when you didn't do a shitty thing. I think even if I did something shitty I would still be me. We move on. Things that hurt us and break us only make us that much stronger!

  • Being civil with a person you once loved is the right thing to do. I never understood ignoring, unless they did something really shitty to you. Just don't be too much... buying her a drink seems like to much. Saying hi and a liitle chat is enough.

  • I believe it mainly depends on how things ended between you two. If it was a clean breakup then definitely it is okay to still be civil. However, if it ended terribly and there hasn't been any closure than it might be a bit weird. Also, when speaking to her make sure you know where your feelings stand and what the boundaries are. For example, If you don't want her back than make sure you don't give her the wrong idea or if you want to be friends again than make sure you keep the conversation friendly and casual. I hope it helps, good luck :) trust me I've been there I know how it feels!


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