What is she trying to pull if she's playing mind games or she's reaching out to me and try to tell me something or she just being an ass?

my ex fiance left me for another guy and took my kid now I'm getting a lot of mixed signals from her I don't know what to do she's telling me she loves me that she misses me and she dreams about me she wants to have these long hugs talk on the phone text that names the whole nine by the end of the day she goes back to this guy and when I asked her she just tells me that she wants to be together just not right now this is taking its toll on me because I found out about it I wasn't told it only happened a couple of days after my birthday so this was beyond devastating almost 4 years together and our two year old daughter its horrible that I had to end like this please help me figure out why she's trying to drag this on if she wants to make it work I'm more than willing I do love her and I want more than anything to have my family back together but she just won't come back I really like some opinions from females as to what she's trying to pull if she's playing mind games or she's reaching out to me and try to tell me something or she just being an ass please let me know

Updates:
she's going to be 25 next month I just turned 23 in April I don't doubt that she loves me we have been through a lot together from me being homeless and jobless she was always the one to come feed me and let me hotels she was always there when I was having problems she went to the end of the world to make me happy we had a kid together and it changed our lives for the better the reason why she left typical she loved me but she was not in love with me
I went through a depression this winter because I had been laid off for snow and she was paying the bills and it made me feel like crap and I distance myself from her physically and emotionally so I can see why she would have run into the arms of another guy giving her everything that I couldn't I just don't know why we're having nice push & Pull moments

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's no doubt that she still loves you, but with her leaving for another man shows that love is not always enough. It's very difficult to give you an answer on what to do, as there might not be one right answer on that.

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    • even if there wasn't one right answer if you can give me a couple of options I greatly appreciate it I'm just extremely confused on what I need to be doing right now with her

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    • I think you should first do your best to solve your own challenges and second to be the best father you can be to your daughter. And then, after these steps are solid, you can start to get a feel of whether you could go back together with your ex.

    • that's exactly what I'm doing right now I have a new job lined up making almost triple what I'm making now me and my daughter just got off of vacation I usually have her half of Saturday and half of Sunday but I had her for almost a week and we just got back for mothers day and then she starts up with this wanting to hang out as a family and I'm so excited we're stupid but I really do know that I'm finding peace everyday I know and I can feel that I'm growing stronger in the bond between me and my kid is getting so much better and she sees that and then she starts up with this crap again texting and calling in trying to hang out and I just want to know if I'm supposed to go with it and let her do these things in hopes that we get back together or if I should completely cut it off and let her make the choice I'm just scared that she's going to choose this guy over our family

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What Girls Said 2

  • Is she dealing some problem? She seems like she has a big problem. I do not know. She is acting very inconsistent.

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    • she's had a lot of emotional problems in the past that's one of the reasons why we met because our past relationships with our family annexes we're so painful we ended up being together striving to be different and better people for the people in our past then we've grown since then we had our own house he's got new cars better jobs we've come a long way. right now it's just frustrating because she keeps calling me to vent about how her mother is cheating on her father and her mom is leaving and she takes these jabs saying that her and her new boyfriend are different and then she'll tell me about what they're doing nonchalantly I just don't know if she's doing it to hurt me or she's really just retarded

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    • I would prefer the guy I loved instead of a new and exciting relationship.
      Well i do not want to be harsh.
      I wish both of you some peace and happiness.

    • I agree with you and appreciate the insight we both know it's not what I want to hear but I'm just going to man up and deal with it it does suck though

  • make her jealous tell her your talking to another woman, give her the choice say should i go for the new woman or do you want to try again, jealousy works magic.

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    • my friends that are girls keep telling me to do the same thing and honestly I'm at a point in my life where I'm fine if she doesn't come back because honesty and faithfulness or something to take very seriously so if she doesn't come back oh well but I don't want to do anything that might push away because I feel that as a father I have to do everything in my power to make it work is making her jealous really going to work even if I have to fake it till we make it?

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    • wow yeah you have quite the history with her, but maybe you can grow stronger after all this.

    • we'll see she just came over to pick up my daughter and I called at this time I told her that all the things that she's been doing isn't healthy for either of us contact me when it has to do with my daughter give her books back I gave her all the pictures of our photo albums and as much as she didn't want to take it as much as she cried I gave her my engagement ring and it broke my heart cuz I can see the pain in her face she didn't want to accept it was happening but in the end she still left so I guess that goes to show what really is more important to her this hurts so bad its just like the day she left all over again but if she loves me and she'll come back if not I have to deal with it

What Guys Said 4

  • if she wanted to go back she would've done it already dude...

    so, try to take things slowly.. move on and just talk to her if she talks to you.

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  • How old is she?

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    • she's going to be 25 next month I just turned 23 last month

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    • Hm. Let's not, and just hope my thoughts on the matter are wrong.

    • if that's what you want then sure I really do want honest opinions my head still isn't totally clear from everything that's going on and it's nice to get an objective perspective I just have hope because one of my really good friends was going through the exact same thing with the father of her baby so she was the one that cheated after about a year they started dating got married and had another kid and they're happier than they have ever been that end I've done this exact same thing where I don't my girlfriend and somebody else immediately and came back but I never played mind games I was always sure of what I wanted to made it clear which is not the case here

  • I'd start praying in this situation.

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    • it's funny you say that because since the breakup I realize all the things that I was doing wrong and I was going through depression I started going to church and taking my daughter I started seeing a therapist and I'm feeling a lot better about my life I have great job opportunities coming my way with my licenses and skills I'll be making good money but she keeps dragging me back in with these mixed messages part of me wants to move on and find somebody honest and faithful and part of me is saying that no self-respecting family man would give up on his family if there was even the slightest chance that Mommy and Daddy can live with their baby girl together

    • Hand God your mess and he'll clean it up. This something my grandfather would say as he's such a wise man

    • I do agree with that I do have faith things will work out I've been struggling with that though because I'm so scared to hand this problem to him and we go our separate ways it's hard for me to believe that this is what God had intended for us it was free will that made her leave not God's choice is what I want to believe for that door swings both ways if God wants us together I need to use my free will to get her back you're just a big scary situation and I'm scared to leave it in his hands

  • You're her second choise she prefer the other one. I think you're soft to her bc you accept her to back to you while she have the other guy. Also you accept to left you with you kid in her mind you're not strong enough the other one maybe more strict than you or he's more alpha than you. Stop be like a toy she can't back anytime she want and go anytime she want you're not her damn toy. Be strict and I really don know why you need this girl if she lefted you already for somoneelse kinda disrespect. However dont act like toy

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    • I appreciate the advice and I agree I keep hearing the same thing over and over its just hard to believe that we could have a family and something like this would happen I know what I have to do now its just hard cuz I only have my family's best interest in mind and I'm slowly starting to realize that I was the only one to have that mentality

    • do women really give into that whole alpha male thing intentionally or subconsciously? and how do I put my foot down without being an a******

    • You should be strict with her no mean no yes mean yes no damn grey area. Soon or later she will back to that guy savd face and leave her unless she cry on you for days to take her back. Yes women prefer alpha male in the real world thats a fact. I think soon or later also she will left you for the other one

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