Guys, not your typical why did he cheat question. Need a variety of opinions please?

So I'm a mid age female. Been in a variety of relationships but nothing like this. Lived with a male 11 mos & completely supported him financially. He had difficulty finding jobs in a small town. Also didn't really try. Moved 8 hrs away to supposedly get a high paying job to send money home then move us there to get married & be a family. He promised this to my daughter as well. 2 wks after her real dad died. After 6 mos of weird excuses he finally had me visit. Gave me a huge ring. Seemed over the top happy he could finally bring me there. 3 weeks later I posted a pic of us on Facebook, & was attacked by a female he'd said was a friend of his brother's. They'd been living together since the week he left & recently split up. She says they were engaged. She had bought all the very expensive things he showed me he had. Which was quite a shock, but explains why $ home & visits never happened. He still adamantly denied it, claimed he loved me. Then disappeared. He has never apologized & won't answer the only question I had. Why did he fight to keep me from moving on if he had? He would never have come back here so "fallback" isn't it. I mean, if he had no intentions of ever keeping the promise he left on & had everyone in his life knowing this new thing, can someone explain to me what the point was in holding on to me still promising marriage & love like he never had for any other woman---to go back to her when it all came out? And. I also found out he had deeply trash talked me the entire time we had been together & was also promising a 3rd female the same things the whole time. So please explain the point in taking me there & asking me to wait. For this? I don't get it!! I don't care why he cheated. All I want to know is why he held me back & asked me to hold on & stay faithful when he had no way to hide this forever. He tells others he knows he f'd up but someday will do something for me & my daughter to make up for it but won't talk to me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not a single opinion in 6 hours.. Maybe it helps if you write your question in such a way that it isn't a chore for people to read it.

    Paragraphs would be nice.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He was just stringing you along as a financial back up plan if he failed again..
    Sorry you had this exp...

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  • 1) 30 is midage. Not 40

    2) He Was bluffing both relationships. Plain and simple.

    I'm sorry this was your experience. The reality is we live in a cruel world where most people will do what feels right for them.

    Whatever the reason is.

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