my boyfriend actually said that he wanted me to lose some weight. ok, i'm not skinny, i'm 5'5 and weigh 175. BUT, when we first dated, i weighed 190. why go into a relationship thinking i'm fat? he said he can't be with me if i didn't lose weight. i broke up with him. because even if i did lose the weight, i don't want to be with someone so shallow. i've been with him for 3 years, and THAT was the deciding factor on whether or not we'd be together? am i being dramatic? i think i would've been ok if he said we should work out together, but he talked to me like he was disgusted with my weight. is it ok for a guy to talk like that? please be honest!
Most Helpful Guy
I'm not a fan of calling anyone fat; especially if I'm in a relationship with them. When is negative reinforcement a good thing? Ummmmm, NEVER. Also, you said it best, why go into a relationship with someone when you already know they are who they are?
I think it's great you're losing weight, so congratulations on that. But, I hope you're losing weight for you and not because your miserable boyfriend hates himself enough to insult you like that.
Seriously, if he has a particular size girl he wants to be with in mind, then it's a free country and more power to him. But it is a bit silly to start dating someone only to complain about something that he knew damn well existed from the get go.
I hope you stay broken up with him, because I'm not sure what he was expecting you to do. I hate it when people think they can change someone if there's something they don't really like about that person, because that's not the way to go into a relationship.
So, I'll reiterate. It's not okay for someone to be an asshole. Especially if you haven't changed anything about you, but lose weight, like he wanted you to.4
Most Helpful Girl
I think you made the right call.
You shouldn't get into a relationship with someone with the expectation that you're going to change them/mold them to be what you actually want. That's immature and shitty, not to mention unrealistic. People have to change for themselves, not to please other people.
Not to mention, I think that if you had stayed with him and lost the weight, you'd probably have a difficult time ever feeling confident and beautiful around him/secure in your relationship. You'd always worry about not being good enough, or worrying about how he would react if you ever put on weight again. At least, that's how I'd feel in that situation.
I don't think you are being dramatic.
If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself. If you don't, then don't. Either way, I think you're better off without this guy.1