Most Helpful Girl
Let her go. Even if you have to block her it's for the best. Relationships are supposed to add postitivity to your life not stress and negativity. I know it's scary and hard to shut her out but think of like pulling of a bandage. The faster you do it the sooner you'll start to feel better. You'll get there :)
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Most Helpful Guy
I'm going to give you advice and not necessarily what you want to hear, so here it goes:
You need counseling in a really bad way. You also need this woman out of your life for good. You are both stuck in a co-dependant, toxic relationship that will continue to haunt you until you get some help in how to break the pattern of this kind of partnership. You can't let her go, and she can't let you go, so you'll spend several more years bullshitting one another until you or she meets someone else to attach onto.
I'm not poking fun, either. But she's playing the victim card, always blaming you for everything she fucks up on, while you're enabling her shitty behavior by forgiving her and accepting her back into your life every time she manipulatively comes crawling back.
Why do you want this person back? You said she's vindictive, toxic and draining. How in the hell is that fun or good for you? It's your life, so if that's what you like, then more power to you, but it sounds like a constant whirlwind of crap mixed in with a little bit of cinnamon sprinkles.
I've been in relationships like this, and realized I was a.) attracting the same type of person over and over and b.) I was bringing myself with me to each and every shitty relationship. Only after I started learning I was as much of the problem and why I was attracting the people I was, could I start changing my pattern of behavior. I learned to love myself, recognize red flags and walk away from those red flags, even if I felt I really liked that person and was strongly attracted to them.
Doing that became easier and my relationships improved greatly, making it possible to meet my wife who I'm very happy with.
Like I said, if you can really live with the torment she assails you with, then why are you asking us for advice, because nothing we can say will help you.
I do wish you the best of luck, but I hope you spend some time at least looking back at the shit and not just the good times, because after