Should I return the engagement ring?

Cliffnotes.
We met and fell in love fast and got pregnant even faster. Had a beautiful baby girl a little before our 1yr (Sept 14'). In March (15') I purposed to her. I was so excited and gitty just thinking of how happy she would be.

Found out from a very close source to her that she had cheated on my after her Christmas party (dec 14') with I guy I had always questioned and she told me nothing was happening, and even made me feel like shit for not believing her... worst part is, she did it before I even suspected the guy and did after I gave her the ring.

Now, she is fucked up in the head right now, I don't mean that as a joke. She seeing a therapists and working on herself. I fell like postpartum played a huge roll. She pulled a 180 once our daughter came home, reality is scary, but she handled the stresses very poorly. I believe this guy was an escape pod, could have been anyone, as long as she felt like she was escaping her world.

Now, I do want to work past this I am in love with everything about her, but who she really is, not this mask she's currently wearing. Not just because of my daughter, that would be noble, but wrong. However, the ring now represents something so meaningless that she could do this, to me, even if it did work out... we would have to date and she would have to earn a new one, one with meaning that isn't associated with that past. Is that wrong to thing "IF" she fixes herself and I take her back?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The ring is a symbol. That symbol is now tarnished. I would return it.
    I also recommend a DNA test on your daughter to make sure she is yours.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Work through this is you think you can and you truly want to, propose when everyone is in a good state of mind, don't propose to try and 'fix' anything, because if it doesn't fix it it will really fuck things up later

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    • I did purpose... she claims she was trying. How can you try but keep kissing (if it really did stop there...) another guy?

      How could she have accepted my ring if she did that. Even so, come talk to me and be honest. It's people like this that are why "good guys" are rare to find.

    • If hold off the wedding then. If things don't change then take the ring back, you can't wait around forever for a train wreck of a woman.

  • yea return it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You just can't trust a woman like that. Get a paternity test if you're like me and have a fear of unknowingly raising another mans child. Ugh the way she made you feel shitty for not believing her is just disgusting, I can't even imagine how I'd feel in that position. Best of luck to ya mate

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    • She is mine, I wasn't with her that long to trust her. When we had her, I got the test.

      Yea, she belittled me and made me feel like crap for trusting her. I then actually tried to be nice to the guy I didn't trust (for a damn good gut feeling)... I have a daughter with her...

  • it doesn't matter... after all a ring is a ring (material)... so y all this fuss? :-)

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  • Okay. Look up "Borderline Personality Disorder" on google. Read all that. Then move on...

    Too bad she had a daughter. Such irresponsibility! (On her part). You need to move on. They really NEVER CHANGE. If you get her back, you are in for more of the same.

    Find another woman, it will help eliminate those feelings that you still love her. Stay as far away from her as you can.

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