How to get my ex back?

We have been together for just over a year and a half, and everything has been perfect. About a month ago he said that he feels like things are changing and he isn't as in love as he used to be. I tried my best to make everything work but he has just made it harder on me by not trying at all. We broke up a week ago, and it was a mutual decission because we were both not happy with the situation. Does anyone know how could I get back together with him or has any tips

Thank you so much for all of the answers!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly. Do not push him, that will only make things worse. I have been in this situation before, twice. Some guys either get afraid being in a situation that's too comfortable, some guys don't want to settle down at such a young age (my ex was this way), some guys just get bored of a repetitive relationship (if that's the case). Give him space, but ask to hang out once in a while. Don't talk about your relationship and how you miss it and want to fix it, that stresses him out. If he agrees to spending time with you, than he still cares about you. So just let it flow. Be the best you can be for yourself, be strong and happy and beautiful. He will notice that vibe and normally that vibe is what pulls them back in. But don't be impatient and don't be needy or pushy. It may take a few months. He may start seeing other girls. My ex and I got back together after we dated other people and he was the one to come back to me. We've been on and off since then until about four years ago when I went to school and eventually met the man I'm with now. But even my boyfriend of four years has had doubts, I've had doubts, it happens. But just take a step back, regroup yourself. Play it cool and see where it takes you. He'll keep you at arms reach If he still cares, just be careful not to mix this up with him using you sexually or whatnot.

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What Guys Said 30

  • Why would you want to get back together with him? I know what your answer will be. Your heart aches and you know nothing that will stop that ache. . . except being back together with him. I know because I have felt that knife blade in my gut, twisting and turning. It is a truly horrible hurt to endure, and there are no words that make it hurt any less.

    You tried it with him. . . and it didn't work. If you try it again, it probably still won't work, for the same reasons. The first time, you gave it your best effort. It lasted a year and a half, so he tried for quite a while. But something changed. And then he said, "he wasn't as in love as he used to be."

    When he said that, it was over. He was no longer I love with you, but he couldn't admit it to you. He still cared about you and he didn't want to hurt you, but he wasn't in love and he didn't want it to continue. Maybe there was someone else already in his life. . . or maybe he was just wanting someone else in his life.

    If he thought he could make it work, he would have tried, because he did care. But he realized that it would never work, and he tried to let you down gently. . . but of course that is a ridiculous notion.

    If you convinced him to come back, if you could manipulate his feelings so that he felt obligated to return. . . he would not want to be there. Before long, you would realize that you can never return to what you had before. There is an expression, "You can never go home." You can go back to the house where you grew up. . . but time changes so many things, and the home that you remember - the home that would be so comforting to you - it no longer exists.

    So it is with the love that you want to recapture. It no longer exists. You can try - and you may - but you will be frustrated, sad, depressed, angry, and you can delay the inevitable, but the end is inevitable.

    You can recognize that the relationship has ended, you can pause to reflect, learn your lessons, promise yourself that you will not make the same mistakes again, proceed cautiously, and continue on your journey.

    Whatever your decision may be, I wish you wisdom and good fortune.

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  • It doesn't sound like a mutual decision if you were the only one trying, he fell out of love, and you won't to get back together in a week's time. I only say this because lying to yourself is the easiest way to get heart broken, or hung up on something you can't change.

    I don't think there is anything you can do. After a year and a half with someone you know pretty much everything about them. Unless you can significantly change your personality or appearance, it seems like he's just lost interest in you. I'm sorry.

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  • The only thing that you can do is give it some time and remain friends, right now it sounds as if he has already made a decision that it won't work no matter what happens so the best you can do is the wait and see option.

    I myself really was in love with someone not that very long ago, we had some differences and tried to work them out, in the end she just wanted to give up, it was then that I realized that she had fallen completely out of love with me, if she had still loved me there is no way she would have thrown in the towel so easily.

    It sounds as if your situation is similar, I myself have resolved to move on, I don't want to be in relationship where our feelings and everything else are not equal. I hope to find someone who I truly care and share a deep connection with. I wish you luck in finding that as well, whether it is your ex or someone new.

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  • Try keeping company with other guys, maybe join a club for people with your interests where you hang out with many new guys, make sure he sees photos of you with them...

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  • Probably impossible. He's lost interest and you can't make it come back for him. Have you ever dumped a boy? Was there a way he could have won you back? Mostly when it's over, it's really over.

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  • First of all give him some space. This is something you should've done as soon as he started to have doubts.

    Give him as much space as possible, and down the line he'll contact you and you can take it from there.

    If he doesn't, then it's pretty much over.

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  • This happens in your age range. You're young and free.. Enjoy dating for now... If he says things aren't working, it's over. Men hold on til the bitter end and when we call it quits, it's over. Find someone else with the same wants as you have.
    This wasn't your fault so don't internalize anything... People change and sometimes, they don't change together. It's tough but it's the way life goes.

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  • Meanwhile you can sleep around and enjoy life as it is, get all your priorities into focus, realize what you want to do with your life and then reassess what you think about this could-be-relationship.

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  • Buy him a lolly Pop and tell him to come over for a licking.

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  • just try talking to him calmly and take it from there this will show you then where you stand and will show you how he feels about you, if he willing to show up you know he cares and wants to compromise but if not you know he wasn't really worth it! hope this has helped and good luck :)

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  • Go back to how it all started when you two first feel in love..

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  • You both need to communicate in order to make things work

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  • So do you want him literally or only his dead body? If it is the first , close this fucking site and go to talk with him. If it is the other one , stay onlined , tuned to us , develop depression and go kill him :* I wish I was helpful.

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  • A relationship is between two people, its sounds to me like he doesn't want to be a part of it, so I would just leave it alone.

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  • Just move on for christs sakes.

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  • I would suggest you let him go. If he was not willing to make any effort to keep you then it is over. Let him go.

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  • get back together, why? So you can be more disappointed and sad than you are now? not a good choice

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  • you mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooov on

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  • He probably likes another girl, perhaps you should give it some space.

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  • Screw him trust me it will work

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  • He is a loser,. How did you made him invest in your relationship?

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  • Explain him whatever you feel. Be honest and tell him your emotions

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  • The only way i can see is to make him sure what he is missing

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  • 1. Find the source of the problem.
    2. If cannot be fix, deal with it.

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  • Tell him you want him back and want to start over... that's the best I can think of. If you guys want a committed relationship, like marriage and children eventually, makes sense to work at it but if you're just having fun, maybe don't pursue something so unhappy.

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  • Find a new boyfriend. Seriously. I have yet to find going back to an ex a good experience for anyone. It smacks of desperation and obsession with feelings of loss. Have higher standards for yourself.

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  • If you're young it could just be a commitment issue. I totally lost the girl of my dreams by letting her go for someone else.

    If his next relationship isn't so great, he might come back anyways. Just remain friendly, and don't sleep with him without talking about it first. If you sleep with him, you might get back together, or he might just say,"well that was nice but we can't do this" and move on. You'll end up hurt.

    If you had a great relationship and he just had commitment issues, don't get mad. Let him go and live your life. He'll probably come back to you at some point, or give it six months and just tell him you want him back. If he misses you, he'll probably accept.

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  • just try winning him back by texting him or calling him again, if he doesn't want to come back, then find someone else, what else can be done?

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  • Don't waste your time on something that is already broken. Move on.

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What Girls Said 31

  • Just because two people Break up doesn't mean they can't and don't Make up and that it's Good-bye, my love forever. And with an "EX"who still Marks an X in your own softie spot, you may find that in time he will begin his beguine of Missing the Kissing and get in contact with you because... he realizes he isn't happy and wants to be at least friends.
    With time for himself and the space that he is taking at the moment here, dear, he probably is realizing too that it Is best to be apart. However, as time goes on, he may start realizing that he wants you part of his life and that friends comes to mind.
    Many times over when two people are Over, it's usually the Other half who wants Friends with benefits. If this happens to you where this is what he suggests, it's up to you as to how you want to handle him. It's his way of Not being hooked at the hip but having his cake and eating it Two because he gets You and... a little lovin' without all the hub bubbin'.
    It may never go the way you want it with the Way we were but no one says you can't just be friends. You can call the shots with or without the benefits that will benefit you the best... or leave it the way it is now with no contact.
    Good luck. xx

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  • You aren't longing to get your ex back, you are longing to get the times back with him when it was perfect. Unfortunately, that reality no longer exists. He has changed, and there isn't any magic thing you can do to change him back to the way he was... and if he didn't even try, that's a HUGE red flag in any relationship. BOTH partners have to put in effort and try, for it to be successful. Do you really want to end up in a relationship with him... and 7 years after being married he suddenly doesn't want to try anymore? You deserve to have someone love you and try for you, just as much as you do for them.

    They are called an "ex", because they are an "ex"ample. You are quite young, and I promise you, you have a lot ahead of you before you worry about your relationship status.

    For starters, how are you at verbally communicating with your partners how you need to be loved and what makes you appreciated? How are you communicating what your sexual desires/needs are? How are you at handling disagreements? How are your finances? Are you stable in your career? Are you living in an area you want to be long-term? When was the last time you did something FOR YOU... like picked up a new hobby? When was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone, to help you grow? When was the last time you traveled?

    ALL of those things should be accomplished before you start worrying about a guy, but when you are ready for the right guy to come along, please keep this in mind: Just because a guy likes you or is interested in you, doesn't mean he values you.

    People can get so caught up in the sex, or the illusion of who he might be one day, or the "maybe it's just me"... that they end up staying with the wrong person for far too long. You don't deserve to settle for a great/perfect relationship, you should hold out for one that is extraordinary. So don't cheat yourself. Forget about this guy and just appreciate what you had... and then focus on yourself and keep your eyes out for a real man.

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  • You should try the 30 day no contact rule.

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  • He changed. It's an inevitable part of life. He just doesn't feel that same anymore. It's sad, but it happens. Let him go and move on. You will change too as you age and grow. I'm sure that in time, you will no longer want to be with the exact same kind of men like he was when you first fell for him. Every relationship is a growing and learning experience that helps to show you more of what you want and need in order to become the best you that you can be.

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  • My ex broke up with me 1 year ago. He said his feelings changed and he thought he didn't love me anymore. I'm a proud person, so I didn't ask for a chance or anything like that. I didn't speak to him for a month, the time I needed to get strong again. After 1 month I felt ready to have him in my life again. We started going to the same friends meetings, once in a while. Meanwhile I worked on my self and had fun. I was working out more, going out with friends. My life didn't stop because of him, even though I still loved him. Eventually I started going on dates again and was quite happy with my life. 4 month after the break up he told me he still loved me and he regretted what he did. Maybe you can try and do the same. Work on yourself, have fun, treat him as just a friend.

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  • I think sometimes people mistake not having the initial "spark" anymore for not being in love anymore. Things die down around the same time you guys broke up (usually a year or so and the honeymoon stage is over and things settle) but it sounds like he was bored and over the relationship (immature guys usually) but to help you the best I can and answer your question, what I always did is not talk to them at all, cut them off completely and act like your totally fine. I'll explain, so you aren't going to text and call telling him that you want him back, to us it sounds so genuine and we're being honest. To him, it sounds pathetic and makes him feel better "haha she still wants me but I don't want her I'm so awesome" and I know that's hard to hear, I've been there I know it hurts. So if you act like your totally fine without him and want nothing to do with him, how will he react? Confused and hurt (not too bad don't worry) but he will question why you aren't upset, and why he is upset about that and rethink his feelings for you. Worked every time for me. Oh! And go have a good time with your friends in the meantime to take your mind off of it.

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  • thanks for sharing bless you for being vulnerable and sharing your story

    as hard as it may be I believe there are plenty of fish in the sea not just one. I think dating is a pathway to marriage.. you date so you can find the person who you will be happy to wake up next to for the rest of your life. Unforrtunately it will be hard for you to find comfort when this is still fresh.. as you have an emotional attachment to this person. I see all to often people who remain in relationships that are not 100 percent on point end up getting married and then it ends in divorce so if you look at the positives maybe he wasn't perfect for you so maybe its a fantastic thing that it was noted early and you did not continue together.. remember there are plenty of people out there not just one.. and look in the right places.. if you dont want a drinker then dont meet someone at a pub etc. I found my man through church and im extremely happy.
    I dont think you can "win him back" as he has showed you how he has felt and you dont want to convince him to get back together as this will cause you more heart ache when this situation happens all over again
    I think you should allow yourself to mature emotionally before making any further decisions. And this sounds like it wasn't you.. its just his heart going a different direction so dont think you have done anything wrong. People mature and they decide to go separate ways its not a bad thing.

    I hope I helped you.. and dont ever change yourself for someone.. you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
    God bless.

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  • I think at this point, there isn't much you can do. I would just say give him some space right now. However, if you really feel like there is something worth fighting for, go for it. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you want to try to fix things. I still believe anything that is broken can be fixed with the right amount of work. It won't be easy though

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  • Do not ever chase anyone. Your life is not a 2 hour long movie and no one is writing your happy ever after with some big romantic gesture saving the day. Do your own thing, work on making yourself more loveable by improving yourself. DO NOT WAIT FOR HIM. If he realizes he made a mistake and wants to come back to you, then give it another try. But honestly, it sounds to me like he met someone else because if things were as "perfect" as you say they were he wouldn't fall out of love with you unless he met someone he likes more. Sorry. :/

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  • dont call or text make him miss you... guys tend to play the fool when they think they got you around there fingers make him feel like he's lost you then he might fight. If not then you deserve better. I've been in a similar situation and he only wanted me back when i moved on and now i got back with him and its a nightmare maybe its for the best

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  • The thing is, you can't make someone love you. Usually when people get back together, or want to get back together, they broke up over something petty... not because they didn't feel they had a connection anymore. To be honest, if you plan on getting back with him, you need more than a week apart. More like a month if not more. He needs his space, and you need yours. Right now you're in that desperation stage where you feel like you need him back no matter what. You need time to think, time to grow, and time to reflect on why he felt this way and maybe how you could make things work.

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  • The fact that he wasn't willing to try is a clear sign he placed no value on your relationship, and frankly I think you are better off without him.

    Now, I know you're asking how to "get back together" with him, but that isn't what you should be worried about right now AT ALL.

    Start moving forward with your life, reinvent yourself, remember all the things that make you special and just experience every new day. You should be putting time aside for you, because the problem with putting others first is that you've taught them that YOU come second.

    If he really does care about you, he'll realize what he's missing out on and then it will be up to YOU to decide whether or not you want him in your life.

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  • Are you sure tou want to be back with your ex? And probably nothing will change? You know him you make the decission girl. I've been there also and well I'm back with him lol. I went through hell for him I fight for him. I do know one thing. When we are seperated from eachother he was so lost he went to girl and to another girl and he went to find me. One day I was at his friend house because I get along with him and his mom. Then my ex show up at his house. Its been just a couple months we didn't talk.. he saw me and I saw him he didn't talk because I was there but later in the night he text me. Then we start to hang out then flirt then we are together for 5 years. Sometime we need a break from each other and see other people see if it works out if not tou guys arr ment to be together

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  • I don't know how old you are but you seem young since you're between ages 18-24 so I wouldn't go sitting around waiting for someone to love me or trying to get them back, move on. but I wouldn't want to be with someone who wakes up and decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore I'd move on fast than you can say oh shit.

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  • sometimes space is a good thing because he has time to realize you are the only one he wants especially if he loved you. and being in a relationship for that long no one would want to throw that away, but talk to him as a friend. talk about all the good times you had together, it might change something

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  • If you even got him back the things won't be same... trust me. I have been there and done that. Its better to move on in life.

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  • Do nothing. . . For some reason if you do nothing men will crawl back to you happens a lot for me even with men i don't want back. And being or seeming uninterested helps too. Or you can be honest and upfront and let him know.

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  • if you aren't happy then why do you want it back. it will be difficult but it isn't meant to be then you shouldn't be unhappy

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  • Remind him of how you got together in the first place

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  • Never get back with an ex.

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  • Just move on. Find another guy

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  • my opinion is to make him see your moving on and being happy... dont text him dont even make him see you for a couple of days or weeks... if he really is for you he will come back... talking from experience

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  • You don't.

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  • You can't getim back unless he wants to. =(

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  • Don't do it. Let it lie and move on

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  • Honestly just don't talk to him for awhile. He will start talking to you again. It worked for me.

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  • Girl best thing you can do is move on

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  • He doesn't love you anymore. You can't change that no matter what

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  • Do you really want him back is the question? I have learn to be happy for myself and let him miss you regardless of the situation... since y'all are broken up for now think about you have done in the relationship not him... I've learned that doubt's and insecurities is what broke our... when I should have never doubted him because I was sure of myself...

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  • We are in the same exact boat down to the not feeling the same anymore.

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