My boyfriend and I broke up, should I still be his friend, when I still love him?

Long story short, things were great, really great, we had a pretty heated argument, that was my fault, he wanted a break and he ended up breaking up with me. Let me give you a few details about him, before me he had a string of bad relationships. The relationship between him and his parents growing up were not the greatest. Same scenario with me, although our situations were different, the basis was similiar. We always have been on the same wavelenght emotionally- always been open and honest, even when the truth hurt. We always had a good time together.

This break that he needed, led him to do some thinking, he came to the conclusion that he needed to work on himself and get some control over his intense emotions, he started therapy, the same scenairo with me. This break has led me to question a lot of things about my own life. He came to the conclusion that he never wants to have children, because of the relationship he has with his parents. I came to the same conclusion myself, after going to therapy. I know it all sounds too odd, but he and nor am I making the same decesions, based off the other. It has always been that way with us, different but closely similiar.

He wants to still be friends, he wants us to support each other, he wants to still hang out without friends with benefits , I'm okay with that. While friends with benefits might work for other people, it does not work for either of us. We text back and forth last night for two hours, telling each other, how comfortable we are and how we trust each other more than anyone else. I believe his explanation, as to why he wants to break up is legit, because I have seen it first hand.

I went snooping, which I am not proud of, I went to his dating profile, he deleted it. We loved each other intensely, is it possible to still be this close and go on as if the relationship never happen. He wants to talk to me in person in depth about everything. He has things he needs to share.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you guys are both dealing with a lot, and being in a relationship would be confusing. Staying friends? I think if you can both cope ok with that then definitely stay friends. You sound like you've been through a lot together, if you encourage each other to get better people then stay friends :-)

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    • Sorry on my phone and it messed up.. What I meant to say at the end is if you both encourage each other to work on your difficulties and become better people individually (as opposed to bringing eachother down in a negative cycle) then definitely stay friends. I don't think he was being selfish AT ALL. Anyone who says that obviously hasn't dealt with mental or emotional issues. He was trying to protect you both because he cares for you and is trying to do the right thing. That was a beautiful and brave thing to do. All the best with both of you :-)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • if u still love him, then yeah... better remain friends...1 day u'll might end up together again :-)

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What Girls Said 4

  • "Long story short" Fail. lol

    No, you should not be friends. You cannot be friends therefore all you are doing is lying to yourself and deluding yourself about the situation and in the process, prolonging your heartache. He used to stick his dick in your vagina, you guys used to swap secrets, you are WAAAAY past the point of platonic friendship so don't even kid yourself. That's just an excuse to remain active, included, and invited into his life.

    Plus it's going to kill you when he starts dating and or screwing another woman.
    His request is self-centered, selfish, tactless, and inconsiderate. It is best for your healing process to not have any contact with him at all let alone "be friends" smdh. No, no, and some more NO.

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  • You simply can't be friends with someone you're still in love with and have feelings for. I mean, you can but you will not be happy with the friendship because it's not enough to measure up to your feelings. Trust me, I've done that and only rarely was I just okay with being friends. I just tolerated it. But I would periodically think about how I didn't enjoy being friends. We're no longer friends. And honestly, it was hardly a friendship at all.

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  • You should not be friends, it will prevent you form moving on!

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  • no you shouldn't

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