He just doesn't care?

So I have been seeing this guy for about 4 months. Things were going great, we were always together... Then 2 months down he finds out his ex girlfriend is pregnant. It happened before he met me.

After that that everything changed. I felt like we were never official. I wanted things to workout but he didn't know what he was going to do with the baby since the mom is in a different country.

I asked him if he was going to leave he said no. If he was going to bring them here he said only the baby. So I decided to keep talking to him.

the due date is August. It's killing me... because I don't have that commitment I want in order for me to go along with this.

I broke up with him last week. Told him I couldn't handle the situation and I couldn't be in the inbetween stage where I don't even know where I stand. He said he wanted everything with me but didn't want to hurt me since one of the options was to bring the kid here and if the mom didn't want to he would have to marry her and bring them both.
He said he wished things were different and asked me if this all didn't happen would I had married him in the future. I don't understand why he asked me that since clearly it isn't an option. Note the girl says they r together

I stopped talking to him but we kept upstaging out whatsapp status. I asked him yesterday if marrying her had always been the plan and he said the plan is to be with his son and if that's the only way he will do it or move back there. I felt like he acted like he didn't care anymore.

im really hurt and he doesn't feel anything. Why spend all these months with someone u have no intention on being with. Why hurt someone like that. I just want him to feel what I feel. I was willing to accept him with his baby and all this drama. I didn't care.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Definitely move on. He's coming across as insensitive because he's been dishonest and now he's in a pickle. In my opinion, I don't think he ever broke up with her. I think he maintained with her that they were still together, probably told her he'd marry her, and didn't take precautions to prevent a pregnancy. Now that it's happened, he was at least honest enough to tell you, but wanted to keep you in limbo. He wanted to keep BOTH of you, and find a way to be a good dad.

    I don't think she trapped him with a baby, but unfortunately this is why a lot of women try to trap a guy with a baby. Because it works. Many guys feel obligated to marry or be with the mother of their child as their primary relationship, even if they're cheating on the side.

    All that being said, I think he's a dishonest dude with too much drama. You don't need it. If he couldn't even lock down with you that you were his official girlfriend, he's not worth it. He was trying to play on both sides of the fence, and it appears his leaning was always going to be toward the mother of his child. There's nothing you could've done.

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What Guys Said 1

  • he;s just insesitive i assume... 8)

    anyway, i beieve u should do da same thing... y waste so much energy bout an insetive person? u shouldn't... :-)

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What Girls Said 2

  • Get out. This will drive you insane if you stsy

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  • you need to move on.

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