Girlfriend broke up with me irrationally. I know its long but please help me?

Ok so me and this girl have been best friends for a year but have always been a bit more. We are the same people and have the same values and interests and have something with each other we both agree we have never come close to with anyone else. A couple months ago we started entertainig the idea of being together but didn't want to rush it or do it at the wrong time especially becuase of how young we are and we were also building up trust along the way. We started dating 3 weeks ago and have been soooo happy and have been spending so much great time together and have both just been on top of the world, she said she wants to live together in a few months if all keeps going well and often she fantasizes about our future family. Great chemistry, great sex, very happy. Then tonight we were at her friends house and everyone was drinking but me cus i was going to be driving the two of us home and she was going to spend the night. She said we wernt going to stay long at all becuase she knew i wouldn't be having much fun. So we go for a couple hours and its late and im bored so i ask if we can get going soon and she doesn't want to cus she hasn't seen her friends in a long time. I asked her how much longer and she coudlnt give me an answer so I told her I was going to go then (she was able to stay overnight with her gf's) I asked if she was coming with me and she said not if you're gunna be like this (i was being a bit anxious and rude becuase im in the process of quitting smoking for her) and i said fine you dont wanna hangout with me so im going and i walked out and left. I texted her to make sure we were ok and ask if she was sure she didn't want to come and she said she was done and broke up with me... Im terifed and wish i had just waited it out but also i feel like thats so shitty to just end something over that. essentially i was just leaving her to enjoy a night with her friends but she sees it as me walking out on her. advice pelase, do you think shell come around?

Updates:
an update for all. weve talked and its been very frustrating for me. the final thing she put on the table was for us to take a break from dating while i quit smoking and still talk and she wants me to prove that im not the guy i was that night and then most likely get back together. i agreed with this but its all still fresh and i have no urge to talk to her because of everything thats been said and done since that night. i need to take a step back and really think about if she's right for me.
its funny though cus since i have backed off, she's been getting all needy and chasing me *rolls eyes* like how are you gunna dump someone then expect boyfriend level attention from them

0|0
62

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is what I see. First you decide to not have a good time, by not drinking for her safety. Which is the responsible/caring thing to do. But is she thankful? Nope she's pissed. Secondly you are quitting smoking, for her. Which is no easy thing to do, otherwise there wouldn't be so many nicotine addicts. But is she understanding of this? Nope, which is ridiculous considering you are doing it for her. Lying about the time that would be spent partying with friends, getting pissed when you are making sacrifices for her, and breaking up with you after only three weeks for no good reason, are not the actions of someone that is in love. Hell, those aren't even the actions of some one who likes or respects another person. Look I've been in your shoes, blinded by love and willing to do anything to make it work. That may seem like a good idea from the inside, but from the outside its very clearly a bad idea. You're going to want to forgive her, I know I sure would if I had the feelings you do. But you've got to say enough is enough otherwise this will be just the beginning. Her actions are those of a selfish, irresponsible, little girl. Which are far different from your caring and responsible actions/values. Don't make the same mistakes that me and so many other guys have made, by putting trust into an idea of a girl instead of seeing her for what she really was. I wish the best of luck to ya mate.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I agree with you for the most part. However, we are both young 20 and 19 so we are both going to be selfish and young and stupid and carless at times for awhile but i see real potential here and i am absolutely positive her heart is in the right place. she's always handled things regarding me with such care and tbh has been better than i have most the time. I was being an overdramatic asshole yesterday and was wrong, she's very wrong for ending it irrationally like that though, thats for sure. But i know her well and dont think this will be a thing fro long at all. She just needs to cool down. Just not sure on how to help the situation rn

    • Best of luck to ya mate

    • He has a great point. She is just a normal 19 year old, and acting as such... don't project the values you want to see on her, just treat her for her actions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • Well, you we're being a little bit antsy and a jerk. I can see why she didn't want to leave especially if she hasn't seen her friends for awhile. However, I can't see why she would break up with you over this. To me it's a whatever situation and let's talk later. Talk to her and ask her why she would break up over something that stupid.

    0|2
    0|0
    • She said that she doesn't want it to be a reoccuring thing where she can't go out with friends or feels guilty about it. I assured her that was a one time slip up cus of the withdrawals and stress. She kept saying I don't know and said we'll see if we can work it out. She also asked if we could be friends for the time being. I don't know if i should do that and then this will go away cus we'll be on good terms then or to give her space to think more and miss me even

    • Well I don't see a problem here if she wants to be friends. Take that as a reach out that things are good between you two.

  • Wait some time. Don't make a move yet. Let her think about it. She maybe needs time to cool down.
    The only thing that you should learn from this is that you should be more supportive next time. I wouldn't like at all if my boyfriend would say he was going to leave without me.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Either she is just overreacting and will come around soon, or there is some deeper reason why she broke up with you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • She was probs still drunk x :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • She will come around.

    0|2
    0|0
  • She might come around. It doesn't sound horrible, it was just a fight. It could be that her friends might have told her to leave you and she might have been hurt enough that she did. Wait it out a few days, apologize, and ask her if being broken up is what she really wants, if she says yes then just leave her alone.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 1

  • Dude, the girl that you're dstkng right now, will likely be replaced within a year or two... At your age love can make you irrational and cloud your judgement...

    The whole argument was silly... If I were Kent hat situation, this is what I would say... "That whole argument was stupid... I was dumb, you were dumb... Let's forget about it"... Then a choice.. Forget it and move on together OR don't drop it and move on to someone else.

    Don't waste your time worrying about it... Way too many single girls for you to overthink that situation.

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...