How do I accept that not talking to my ex is my life now and not just a game of how many days I can make it without calling him?

I haven't called him in a week now but I'm dying to talk to him. I'm trying to make it as long as possible, I take it one day at a time. But I still have this shred or hope that he's going to call me and that eventually he will want me back. I'm treating it as temporary even though it's probably permanent. I'm scared to accept it because I don't know if I can handle that emotional destruction right now or maybe ever. I'm scared of how much it will crush me. How do I accept this as totally, completely, 100%, no turning back, over?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Firstly realize that millions of people worldwide if not billions have had to undergo the devestating situation of a break up. Very very few people are lucky enough to have met their soulmate on the first go or first relationship. It's a common thing that hits all of us at some stage and even though it doesn't lessen the pain it helps you realize you are not alone and millions have survived a break up and made it. Which leads me to my next point..

    You will be OK without him. Yes it might feel impossible but I can assure you that you can handle it and you will get through it. There is no reason to believe that he is the right guy for you and that you are supposed to be with him. Things like this happen to pull you away from the wrong person so you can meet the right person. The right person will not dump you or detach themselves from you. So when this does happen you must trust that the universe knows what it is doing and that everything will work out the way it should but that sometimes requires painful sacrifices that we don't understand right now but in time when the bigger picture is there it will all add up.

    You are a beautiful person inside and out. Do not let ONE human being keep you from living a life. Place him down from that pedestal. He is not everything you likely make him out to be in your head. We usually fall for the idea of someone or something and not the actual person. Although it is easy to confuse the two.

    Hang in there and message me if you want moral support or someone to talk to :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • Talk about it with close friends, and if that doesn't keep your anxiety down, make an appointment with a professional counselor. Not that they're so much more valuable, but you may need to talk with someone you DON'T know to really get it all out there!

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  • guess by blockin his # maybe?

    it'd b difficult... but blockin him, might end up things between him n u i guess... :-)

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  • Time is the only way and its the great healer

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  • when you feel you need to call him call a girlfriend and tell her or ask her to help you get your mind off of it, maybe by going on.

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  • Maybe you're the type of person that needs a rebound hookup to distract your mind.

    Doll yourself up real nice and go get you a guy for some hot sex! Then u won't drink about your ex so much. :)

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  • for a start the earth would be spinning and the sky will be blue , nothing is gonna change if you stop talking to him or not seeing him around, the world is still the same , you need to move on and let better people come into your life

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What Girls Said 8

  • It will take a lot of time and self control. You have to force yourself to think about other things. I know what you are going through, and yes, it does suck. You just have to use restraint. Do not contact him. Keeping in contact will only make you feel like there is a chance. If you can admit that it is probably permanent, then you know somewhere in your mind, it isn't going to work out. I suggest you surround yourself with good friends and family. Pick up a hobby or two and focus on yourself. Delete his number off your phone, delete him off of your social media. Seeing his pictures and having his number is just going to be a temptation. Good luck!!

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  • You continue to think of it as one day at a time. Eventually, you'll wake up and realize you care less today. And then in a few months, that you care even less than that. You may even meet someone who takes your mind off of it completely.

    A week is not very long, and it's normal to still be in that phase of making it a game to get yourself through it.

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    • Well it's been a week since I called him. We broke up 3 weeks ago though.

    • I think it's still very early in the process. Don't be too hard on yourself. One day at a time, and keep yourself distracted! Improvement helps, too. I usually get really focused on working out, go on a shopping spree, etc.

  • You just have to. Cut him off and out of your life. Get rid of anything that reminds you of him. Unfriendly him in Facebook. Unfollow on social media. If he try to contact you, ignore him. If you truly want to move on you have to be serious about it. I know it hurts but eventually you'll be great fun you moved on. Be strong my friend :) you can do it!

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  • Distract yourself.

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  • Lean on your best friends shoulder or even a family member. It's so hard accepting it, but Its something you gotta do. I'm sorry to hear this, I've been through it too and it still hurts when I think about it. Hugs for you

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  • Get a hobby, get a pet. Do something. This is just sad

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  • I am going through the same thing. I don't know the answer. He told me last week that he's seeing someone else. I can't accept it.

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    • I'm so sorry😔 I asked mine if he would take me back after therapy (I have some personal issues to work on) and he said "maybe, if I'm not already seeing someone else." not fun to hear. stay strong xo

  • It'll take some time. One day at a time will eventually turn into one week at a time and so on until you heal. It's different person to person on how fast/long they can heal from a break up.

    Have you removed his phone number? What about all of his social media? Out of sight, out of mind is usually the best way to move on, as painful as it might be. I'm sorry you feel this way, and hope you will feel better.

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    • It's hard because we go to school together. I see him every few days at least😔

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    • Hopefully. Sadly we are both staying on campus and working here for the summer though and so is this bitch that he's friends with and I think is part of the reason we broke up. But most of my girl friends know I went through a breakup so I hope they help me stay distracted.

    • Yeah, that is really tough. I hope your friends will be supportive and you all can enjoy some time together. :)

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