Why won't she come to get senses?

I dated a single mother of 3 for a year we were good friends for 2 years before that I fell in love with all 4 of them but unfortunately before we were together she lost custody of them because she could not financially support them and we were not together yet, any she then had to move 2 hours away with some family and we did the long distance thing but after a year she started to get close with some other guy she was 28 at the time and this loser was 19 im 24 at the time. I will admit I was not there for her like I should have been but that's because i was working 60 hours a week saving up for a car for her because her and eventually a house you know our future and that was wrong of me to neglect our present I understand that now. This guy that she is still with is a lying cheating thug he had cheated on her multiple times and let her down repeatedly while I have remained loyal and devoted to her and her children but the worst thing is that this pig tried to have sexual relations with a 14 year old while still dating my ex he was arrested and has become a registered sex offender but she is still with him I had told her she can not stay with him if she wants her children back from state custody but she insisted she is going to marry him and have both him and them. They were living together but he moved out she has never said why but I assume because she can't live with him and get them back and I know he is allowed no contact with children. I am kind loyal supportive and have never let her doen I have realized my mistakes that led to our break up and I have told her this but she refuses to move back home and give me another chance insisting that this pig has changed, I am succesful, come from a good family and can give her and her kids a great life that she could never have with out me so why won't she come to her senses and drop this loser and give us another chance she knows I can take care of her and his victim was only 4 years older than her daughter.

Updates:
I am so scared she will stay with him and give up her children I know they will be ok they are with her mother and will stay there if she loses them but she should live near them and be in there lives even if she isn't the legal guardian and she can't have him around if she has them around so I terrified she will choose him over them and remain hours away from them.
i asked her what she sees in him and she said he was there for me when you weren't which may be true but I have been there for her far more times than he has for years now he cheated on her while she was in the hospital while I was there seeing her bringing flowers and as soon as she's out she goes back to him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You put yourself out there... If she can't choose a better path, you have to say farewell.

    Some people know no other way than dysfunctional living. They subconsciously are drawn to the dysfunction. It's a cycle and it can be broken but she would have to be self aware to the point that she could see how awful thing s are and imagine how she wants them to become.

    Therapy may help her.

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    • She is not happy she will not admit this to me but she has told mutual friends that she is going through hell I have told her I know she isn't happy and she doesn't try to say she is but she refuses to come back she has never had a stable relationship before exept for me it was a very different type of relationship for her and I thought I was showing her how a man is suppose to act so she would never go back to scum like this. I just don't get why she won't make a change and give me another chance I have more than earned it but she just says she loves him not me she does however want to be my friend I assume because I am always there for her.

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    • I will buy I have tried walking way before and she always knows I'm bluffing and will still be there for her. But things are worse than ever for her now so fingers crossed

    • Be strong... It may take weeks, but she will cave if she knows you mean it... It'll hurt, just hang with friends or work more to occupy your mind.

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What Girls Said 4

  • This girl and the situation sound 100% ghetto. Try and move on. She likes the loser!

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  • Let her go. There is only so much you can do, it's her mistake that she cannot see that. She has just ruined her chances, she should be damn lucky to have somebody like you running after her sorry ass! xxxx

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    • I have tried to let her go I've gone months without talking to her but I get so lonely I always reach out eventually or she does eventually part of my problem is there is just no one else around me that is datable or even my age but that doesn't matter I would want her even if there was its been a year and 3 months since she left me and I havnt made any progress in moving on. She is very lucky to have me I know that and I know deep down she does to she just gets so angry with me for tellin her the truth that she won't talk to me for months.

    • Your lonely... Don't you think that you love the thought of her? And not actually being with her? I had this issue with my ex. You seriously deserve 1000% better

    • I know I deserve better but there is no one in my life to eve think about trying to start something with and I have been in love with her for 4 years now I just don't see myself ever moving on.

  • if I had to guess I believe that she's staying with him because she believes that things will get better , that he will "change" because he "loves" her and also thinks that in time the state will resign his punishment of having to stay away from children ( in time it can be resigned however he'll still be labeled as a sex offender and it will be publically available that he is ) other than that I don't know, honestly your mistake is NOTHING in comparison to having sex with a 14 year old. I would like to tell you that she will choose her children over him however I can't since people's action's aren't predictable. I'm so sorry for you to have ended up in this situation but I really believe that you should try to move on.

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    • He didn't actaully have sex with her he but that's only because he got caught by the child's parents before he could thank god but he was trying to and sent nude pics of him self to her.

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    • I know right and her daughter will be 14 in 4 years and he will only be 24 what is she thinking

    • He did send nudes that's what got him caught exposure to a minor

  • its hard o understand what goes through their minds...

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