I feel like I need to break up but that would make me feel guilty?

My boyfriend and I have been together 11 months... He has lied to me since last year about attending college classes... he was enrolled but stopped attending class midway last fall and this spring semesters.

He told me he suffers from depression, but he never went into much detail about it or would cover it up... he's lied to me about things as small as making to doctors appointments and I feel like his priorities are not in order. I am a college grad myself and technically this is his 4th year and he is nowhere close to graduating.

i feel like he has no aspirations in life... I would feel guilty about leaving though because last year I had a health scare that has been taken care of ; however, I was honest about it with him and he helped me then but I feel like I'm just in a relationship built on lies.

help!


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23

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sadly, I don't think this situation will ever improve. No one can really tell you what to do. It is your choice and yours alone. Whatever other people tell you might be the wrong thing.

    I don't think a relationship based on lies is ever going to last. Small lies can sometimes lead to bigger lies. When these become known about, mistrust will creep in leading to much pain and heartache.

    It is only reasonable for him to have supported you through your past health issue, but that doesn't mean you should feel guilty about breaking up. Don't let yourself be subject to emotional blackmail! " ... but I looked after you when..." is just not a valid reason for trying to force someone to stay in an unhappy, futureless relationship.

    Feel free to PM me if it will help.

    Take care, stay safe!!

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What Guys Said 2

  • he lied u said... and that's not a small lie :)

    y then do u feel guilty?

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    • I feel like he depends on me to be there

  • you need to have a serious sit down talk with him. tell him your relationship cannot last if it is based on lies. help him schedule a appointment to see a mental health professional, ask him if he wants you to go with him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • His happiness is not your responsibility. You can't be happy for him. It sounds more to me like he's manipulating you and using his depression to guilt you into staying. This guy is bad for you and will only drag you down with you. You can lead a horse to water... He has to WANT to get better, and for that, he has to WANT to get help.

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  • If you feel it's over, girl, it's over.

    Don't ever try to "make it work" if you feel that much doubt in your heart. You gave all of the reasons, there is no point in staying. People might hate me for this, but I am a firm believer in you only make it work if you can see things changing... and I can tell by what you said that you clearly don't think it will and I doubt it will too.

    Never stay based on guilt either, because things WILL end no matter what in that case, you're just prolonging the inevitable at this point.

    Just tell him you don't see your futures going in the same direction and you need to move on.

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