I cheated on my boyfriend by texting another guy, I love him more than anything, how do I mend his broken heart?

I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year unofficially and a couple of months officially, he is the most amazing man ever and I am truly in love with him. He is madly in love with me too, we had plans of moving in together this summer and had even settled on a house together. I want to marry this man and he does too, we were already taking children together (i have a 2 year old) and we've met both our families. Yes, this is as official as it gets. The problem is that this former fling of mine started texting me again and I didn't ignore him. He is the typical guy that I would have dated back in college, hot and charismatic but a complete player, definitely not a guy I want to settle with. I told him I have a boyfriend and I couldn't hang out with him, yet we kept texting.

A couple of days ago, my boyfriend received some messages from a random # tellling him to look this guy up because I wasn't being honest. I also received a message from the same # telling me I had to tell my boyfriend about my dishonesty (my texting the other guy) or he would find out from them. My boyfriend and I talked about it, I told him about this guy and how he is trying to persuade me and we agreed we were going to get past it. I made the horrible mistake of texting this guy back the next day and the conversation was flirty (i have hooked up with this guy in the past many times). I knew this was going to come back to me (I self-sabotage myself all the time and I don't know why!) anyway the boyfriend saw his messages on my ipad (i deleted the conversation from my phone).

The messages are mixed, one day I tell him to leave me alone because I love my boyfriend and he swears he won't mess it up for me and the next he's sending me naked pics and asking to meet up. I think this guy wants me to break up with my boyfriend and I am falling for his crap, he's never wanted a relationship with me, just hooking up, my boyfriend is very hurt and I don't want to lose him. He's my best friend and i love him, advice?

Updates:
My boyfriend has not broken up with me, he is really hurt but loves me enough that he is willing to work it out, I just don't know what I can do in the meantime, I need him to forgive me.
No need to insult me by the way, I am the first to admits fucked up and I'm beating myself up for it already.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your player-ex has almost succeeded in achieving his goal of destroying your relationship with your boyfriend. You have been a gullible willing bimbo.

    I think if you admit to the above to your boyfriend and hand him a list of measures you will take to earn back his trust you can salvage your relationship. You'll need to make your electronic life an open book to your boyfriend. Among other things you'll need to block this player's number and you'll need to show extraordinary loyalty to your boyfriend.

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What Guys Said 9

  • You strike me as impulsive, emotional, and of weak will-power.

    Very dangerous qualities to have in a girlfriend. You're basically a loose cannon. Probably best that you break up and go with the fling guy. You don't strike me as the settle down type.

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  • Aside from you being an obvious attention whore that deserves to be dumped, the interesting part of your story if this third party # that texted your boyfriend warning him of your despicable actions.

    Despite knowing it was wrong you kept texting this guy, despite him sending nude pics, which makes his intentions clearly obvious, you STILL talk to the guy. In my eyes there is no repairing the relationship, if this happened to me I would see you only want attention and would dump your pathetic ass. You say you already have a boyfriend you love then you go about talking to some other guy. Clearly you have no love or respect for your boyfriend, you're in love with the notion of being in love with him.

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  • At first I was like okay maybe it's not that bad. Then I read that he was sending you naked pics and you were still texting. I really hope he dumps your ass. Poor guy, must be devasted.

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  • This is come classic overdramatizing nonsense

    Can't believe I read all of it

    Both of you need to take a moment of silence, and chill the fuck out.

    My goodness...

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  • did u apologize to him? if yes did he accepted it?

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    • I did, I admitted my mistake and apologized profusely, he says he loves me and we will work it out, I'm just so distraught because I've never seen him this hurt.

  • It's simple. .. make up your mind or go welfare and raise your child.

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    • I make more money than he does, I have a Masters degree and I do not need welfare, I am not with him because of his support, thank you.

  • Truth be told, maybe you're not ready for this relationship.

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  • You seem like the typical immature girl; the kind that talks about how want a "good guy", that didn't cheat, treats women well, is loyal and faithful, etc. BUT, all you really want is the "bad boy" type that will cheat on you, use you, lie to you, basically tray you like dirt. I don't knife what is with women, they all talk about how they want the good guy but they then around and are sluts for the bad boy type! Then complain that you can't find a good guy. That's because you've shit on the good guys, cheated on them, been used by the bad boys... The good guys (the smart ones anyway) know how you are and aren't going to touch you. You poor, poor stupid girl. You deserve nothing less than your "great guy!" to DUMP YOUR SORRY ASS. Do something decent for once, cut him loose and quit leading him on; let him find a good girl that isn't constantly being seduced by some dickhead "bruh". Best of luck, cunt!

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  • You showed inconsistency so he can't believe you anymore. I think this college dude's girlfriend got pissed or something. You make bad life choices. Let him go.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Buy some will power and atone your sins by wiping this guy off the earth and treating your boyfriend extra better. Treat him like a King. Tell the other guy to FUCk off.

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    • Thanks! I deleted him and blocked his # so he can't reach me, we'll likely change our #s too, both my boyfriend and I. I know I can stop talking to the other guy, just wish so bad I could help my boyfriend feel better.

  • You're certainly not mature enough to marry together, this was the proof. And now you lost his trust and it might be even the case the he won't be able to trust other girls either...

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  • Change your number so that the guy cannot contact you again.

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  • it was just texting, you didn't cheat.

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