How do I cope with this break up?

About 7-8 mo ago i broke up with my x of 3 years to b with another guy. now it really does seem like it was one of those "the grass looks greener on the other side" kinda deals. Don't get me wrong, i care about my current boyfriend, but not like i do my x. now im having the hardest time getting over him. Some days r better than others, but he's always on my mind. N some days i start crying. We've been through so much together and he knows me better then anyone. I could give him one look and he knew what I'm thinking. We were more then just boyfriend n girlfriend, we were each others best friends. my current boyfriend n i aren't like that. N because my x strted tlking shit about me, my boyfriend doesn't want me to talk to my x. If i did n he found out itd b over between us. But my ex won't even tlk to me because some girl walked outta his house the one n only day i did tlk to him. According to my x tho, she's just some b**ch. n according to his friends he doesn't have a girlfriend. just thinking about my x with another girl makes me jealous. He promised tht we'd still b friends, and well, u can guess how that went. Honestly, some days i wanna just go over to the house to see and tlk to him, but i dont want to b that girl. Shit id be happy having him back as my friend, but I don't know if thts possible. Ugh!! i dont know what to do any more. Advice please.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can understand wholeheartedly what you mean here, lucygirl988, when you talk about the "Grass looks greener on the other side" because many times it backfires on you and it... isn't as green on the other side of the fence.
    I still have a husband out in Egypt whom I married three years ago. I came back to the states and for some reason or another, I ended up having arelationship with a Coptic Christian because I thought he was closer, could be closer to my heart and that this was the answer to my prayer in getting rid of a LDR... even being married.
    I found out within a year that everything I worked so hard in having with my husband was going down the drain and even though we had some problems with him and his family when I had lived there, I now ruined every chance of them ever trusting and believing in me again... to this day, they will not talk to me and my husband is ready to divorce me.
    Even if you and your Ex never get back together, don't stay with someone you don't think you will ever be happy with. You are Obviously Not over the Other half and this one is Obviously a Rebound whom you thought was everything your Better half ended up to be after all.
    You are Not over him and it may take a lifetime. It might be best to just be your own woman for now, get your thoughts in order and back off in the relationship you are in or it will end up going down a beaten path and end up a War of the Roses.
    I believe that if you were free to be your own boss once more, you could be friends with not just with the Ex but with anyone and it might make it easier to see where you are going and what is going to be in the cards next for you. For now, it's not fair to your current cutie and not fair to you.
    Good luck. xx

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    • I can't take this pain n hurt. I still love him with all my heart n now there is some girl n my house, n my bed, with the man i still love. I can only see my life as far as marriage n a family with him. I feel literally sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do. Im losing it.

    • You are obviously Not over him, sweetie, and if you let on your feelings, the other will find out and cause a problem here... you have to learn to focus on you and try and lick your wounds and let time heal and let this guy of the past go and if you see that you cannot hold down a relationship with the current, let him go too and get a hold of your life... other than that, if you are comfortable in being with the current and you are trying to make it work, try and see if it works... eventually you will know what you need to do but I would suggest, let go of the ghost in the closet, he is rattling your chains and making you almost dead inside. xxoo

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Lol id say fuck you. You left your boyfriend for another guy don't expect him to be waiting for you.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Just be honest with yourself and with him too. If you get to talk to him, tell him how you feel, that you still have feelings for him and that you made a mistake leaving him, and that you expect him not to wait for you. Play it cool, though. Try not to start crying in front of him, unless you know it will make him react. He's probably talking shiz about you because he got hurt and thought you guys were good. If you're too scared of doing anything, just go on with life. I understand, it's hard. I was going to get married last year, but he broke it off a couple weeks before D-Day. I didn't chase him for long, and when I moved on, he figured out that he was loosing me and that he'll never have me again. That's when he started texting me and calling me to say that he missed me. Indifference is key. If you think it will work, cut all contact, be polite though. But don't text first, take a little more time to answer a potential text, etc. Treat him as a regular person. Make him think. Even though you messed up, there are chances that you can make it up.

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  • I don't think he'll take you back as a girlfriend. He's most likely over you now and still feels betrayed over the fact you left him for someone else. No-one wants to be someone's second best and that's how he feels. I guess you could say this is karma for your actions.
    You could try, at least for friendship but don't get your hopes up for anything more.

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  • It's okay to feel like you have messed up accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you're not the only one who made mistakes. Of course, a stage of denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to start moving on.

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  • Follow your heart.

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    • My heart is saying to go over to the house n beat that bitches ass n get my man back. But thts counter productive.

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