Long story short, my ex and I broke up last month and we hadn't spoken for 5 weeks.
He recentley got in contact and said that he was sorry for how he was and that he would like to be friends and see where we go from there. We text for 2 days after that and even spoke on the phone.
He also told me that he still has feeling for me and that we should meet up soon for coffee. .
I text him 3 days ago just being friendly and said that I hope he was okay and having a good week so far but he hasn't replied and my message has been read.
We did have a quite intense relationship and felt strongly for each other so could it be that he's trying to keep his distance by not rushing into things?
Just wanted some advice on what could possibly be going on here and if this is normal for an ex to do this..
Most Helpful Guy
Whether it's normal is irrelevant. Understand a few things:
1. He doesn't want to just be your friend. When he says "let's see where we go from there," he is telling you where he wants to go.
2. You didn't say why you broke up but you did say that you had an intense relationship. I assume that means that it was a sexual relationship. This pattern is very common. You move into a sexual relationship before you know the other person very well and then you discover some things about your partner which are negatives. Because the relationship is intense, conflicts seem more pronounced and perhaps one partner realizes the relationship is a mistake and they are looking for an excuse to end it.
3. If you resume the relationship, the odds are overwhelming that you will repeat history. It will be intense for a few weeks, you will have Hollywood-movie-star sex, and then you will again encounter conflicts and break up.
4. You may think that the two of you are "different" and that you are somehow immune from these predictions based on how everyone else experiences life, but. . . your mother was wrong! You are not different; at least, you are not different in a way that will make a difference to the outcome of this affair.
5. If you had the capacity to make it work and you both wanted that, you wouldn't have broken up. You would still be together, trying to make it work. You broke up for a reason, and you should remain that way: broken up. Getting back together with an ex is a mistake 99.99% of the time, and u are not the 00.01%.
6. You can't be just friends because he will always want more and sooner or later - probably sooner - that will be a problem.
7. You should follow your heart into a relationship but you should follow your head out of a relationship. Of course you still have some feelings for him but you know - at least in your brain - you know that you need to sever all ties with this guy. So. . . respect yourself enough to do the right thing and, a few years from now, you will look back and be proud of yourself for how you handled this.