Why would you miss someone who wasn't good to you?

I've been separated from my ex of six years for about 9 or ten months now. We had great chemistry and a lot in common but she kept on leaving because she didn't know what she wanted and told me at one point that at the time she didn't feel worthy of love. That makes sense, but the problem is that every time she left, that's not what she told me. She'd be mean and cold and just say "It's not gonna work. Sorry." And that would be that. Then she's keep coming back time and time again. I always forgave her and took her back. I loved her, as stupid as that sounds. Well, last time she left, she left the state and didn't look back, at least for three or four months. I was out there and dating other people, and doing fine. Well that time she came back, I forgave her. Side note- the first time she left she chewed my ass and hung up on me. She came back a year later. The second time she came out to where I was to see me, then I find out she had been seeing a guy for a few weeks, broke up with him, came to see me, went home, dumped me and got engaged to the other guy. She ended up cheating on him with me when I moved home anyway. Comes back again, and says that she wants to give me a serious shot, and leaves three months later. So when she came back that time, I decided to keep seeing other people because I put my eggs in one basket with her every time and kept shitting on my heart, so I decided to do something different. Well, she found out and she amputated me completely. All those times I forgave her meant nothing and I tried to make it work, but she tossed me out. I've moved on and I'm doing fine, but I'm still really depressed and I'm still feeling her punishing sting of rejection. I don't want anything to do with her, but it still hurts. I've dated, gone out, slept with other people and none of it really helps. I thought it would but it didn't. Last week, I got drunk and emailed her. All I said that I wish her happiness and I'm sorry that I wasn't enough. She didn't resp

Updates:
Respond. Last thing- when I was dating other people, she told me that she had a drunk one night stand months before that I would have never found out about if I had not gotten caught. She said it was an accident and I had no right to hold that against her. Thoughts?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • since u spend so many years together... sure u had some good moments wid her... no?

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    • Yes. We did. We had some amazing ones.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Feelings are't rational...

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    • Not at all. She was a dick to me and I don't know why so many moths later I'd still be down.

What Guys Said 1

  • This is also too long and boring.

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    • Very intelligent and mature. Thank you for gracing me with your infinite wisdom.

    • Show All
    • "Are you a sociopath?" Yeah.

    • Please stop. You're not making this any better.

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