OPINIONS NEEDED! Is it time to break up when?

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years. He was my best friend who I told everything to. And honesty is my #1 rule. But I went away to college, and just finished my 2nd year. I'm home for the summer, and I just found out over the past 2 years he hid things from me. Such as, smoking weed with my younger brother, hanging out with girls, (one sent him nudes), and just small things that I know don't matter (if he would have told me up front)... but now I feel like I can't trust him. I told him everything.. and I thought it was a 2-way road. But he was "afraid" to tell me.
Do I stay with someone who doesn't tell me things? I don't think I can... :/

  • Yes, stay with him
    Vote A
  • No, time to end it
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes guys hide these things because they think their girlfriend will be upset. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to excuse him for not being up-front with you but you have to ask yourself if it's worth breaking up over. Is he an otherwise good boyfriend? If so, I think you should have a serious talk with him about your thoughts on the subject and find some common ground.

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    • I agree... but he's known forever that honesty and trust are important to me. My dad left for a younger (20 some-year-old) girl and whoever I be with I need to trust fully. I am more upset that he didn't tell me, not at his actions.. I feel lied to.

    • Show All
    • Yea, he avoided telling me. Well, he lied at first when I asked him. He did get caught with weed once and told me it was someone else's.. that was a lie.
      But when I live at college communication is important. and know i feel like i don't know him at all

    • If you feel like he's a different person and no amount of communication can patch it up at this point, then I would suggest leaving him.

      I can't defend him for lying. I can only shed some light on possible reasons for his lying / aversion to talking to you. I know someone picking up weed against their girlfriend's wishes can often be problematic. Especially, if you've expressed dislike for weed in the past or people who smoke it.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Do you know for a fact if he hasn't fooled around with those girls who clearly like him enough to send nudes? If you're against weed and he smoked with your brother that's a line crosser. I'd probably leave. Trust is hard to come by and he doesn't exactly have it in spades.

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    • I don't know for a fact I guess. I assume he hasn't.. It isn't even the actions so much, it's the fact he didn't tell me and hid it from me. i hate when people lie and hid stuff. He should've told me and we could work through it... he should know that after 5 years.

  • Talk to him and give him one last shot

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  • For me personally, if my girlfriend experimented with drugs, I wouldn't care, as long as she didn't become addicted. But the nude pictures with other people... aw, hell no! That would be a deal-breaker.

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What Girls Said 2

  • you practically said it yourself at the end when you said " i dont think i can" but really talk to him , tell him how you feel about all this

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  • End it and you'll find someone who doesn't do stupid things and acts like a 12-year old

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