Should I stop talking to my ex now or wait? Helppp 😩 ?

Hey, so my ex and I were together from ages 15-21 and really were best friends. I still consider him the best friend I've ever had. Anywho, it's been almost 2 years since we've broken up and the longest we haven't spoken is 2 months, from Dec.-Feb.

Long story short, I still love him. I dont believe Im in love anymore but times like these confuse me. I want him to remain a part of my life but loving him makes it hard. I almost dont want him here at all if I can't have him.
I dont have a facebook but I still check his. He ran into my little sis one day (which was crazy) &that night he posted, "the things you love never leave you. people aren't things" and a couple of nights ago he started posting madd love songs.
- Voyage to Atlantis and Footsteps in the Dark by The Isley Brothers
- Working My Way Back by The Spinners
- My First Love by Avant&KeKe Wyatt
- I Need Your Company by Michael Kiwanuka

I "drunk emailed" him the other night, just asking if he was up bc I knew he'd call me but 5 mins later I sent another saying he didn't have to respond. The next night, around 3:30am he emailed me the same thing, "you awake?" but without the backtrack. I know he knew if I was up, we wouldve ended up on the phone for hours.

Anway, Im struggling with remaining in contact with him or not. I want to stop talking to him bc I need to move on. I can believe those songs were for me but I wouldn't know about them if I werent creeping. I've told him that I dont like the monthly contact bc it doesn't make sense, he thinks Im overreacting bc "he's the same way with his mom". I would stop talking to him now but his little sis is graduating next month and I dont want there to be awkward tension b/t us so I was thinking about doing it afterward.

I guess Im just venting. there's so much more, like he had a rebound but I don't know if they're still involved. That makes me stomach turn&makes me wanna just stop talking to him but, we're on okay terms right now. I hate sounding like this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Staying in touch with an ex like this makes moving forward so much harder to do , whether it's the holding out hope of reconciling your differences or just can't let it go. If you did meet someone new dragging the past around would put undue stress on the new relationship. I have never stayed in contact with an ex ( I never had any kids so that was easy to avoid them ) . Ex's are ex's for a reason , and that's why I left them in my past

    • you're right. I can barely get involved with someone new bc my heart/mind always finds its way back to him smh

    • First off you have to come to terms that it is over between you two and convince your self it's just how it is and move forward and don't look back. It's never easy to let go like that but a new future can't happen if it's cluttered with the past

    • Letting go can hurt like a b- arch but it's part of growing independent that gets you through

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What Guys Said 2

  • Why did you break up? Are you both single now?
    I don't understand why you shouldn't talk to him, if you want to.

    • We basically broke up because of personal things in his life. We'd been together since high school, at 21 I guess forever became overwhelming to him. He went through his "Where I Wanna Be - Donnell Jones" and after he broke up, apologized for betraying me and us by leaving.
      &yea, we're both single now. We've been single, just been in rebound "situationships".

      Im just afraid that I'll be in this same place next year if I dont stop talking to him now.

    • So you have found solution urself. If you don't wanna "be in this same place" choose one:
      a) stop all communications with him, get him out of your life for some years;
      b) try to restore your relationships, be togher again, love each other. If failed move to a) option.

      Choose depending on how much you love him.

  • if u keep good convs going wid him... then y u should stop?

    • I feel like I should stop because I still love him. I gotta think about his side too and understand that reality is, I don't know everything that goes on in his life and that makes me nervous. What if my perspective is wrong&Im in this same position next year?

    • Show All
    • That's my hope/fear lol
      Fear because, if I stop talking to him could I mess it up? But shouldn't he be willing to fight for me since he's the one who left?

      This is why I need to become psychic lol

    • guess if he was interested as well, he should make some move

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