As the question says, my ex left me a few months ago after a two year relationship, saying he wasn't ready for commitment (we had a serious relationship, he really wanted to move out too), that he wanted to be single and wanted to sleep with other girls (he'd only slept with me). He often said I was the one, his soulmate, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We spoke about possibly trying again the future when he's ready to commit. I understood where he came from and I didn't really have a concern about him finding anyone else because he said he wanted to be single, but he's been dating his ex girlfriend (they dated years ago in high school) for less than a month now and it baffles me.
He's slept with other girls, but he gave the impression he wanted to be single for at least a year before settling down but now he's gone to his ex! I don't think he correctly dealt with his emotions during the break up so my only explanation for this is that he's using her for sexual and emotional support. He told me he missed me being there and him having someone to talk to, after the break up, so obviously emotional support was important to him. I don't think he could get sex anymore because rumours spread about him being small and shit in bed, so to avoid all those rumours, I think he's ran into this relationship.
So why would he say he's not ready for commitment/serious relationship and wanting to be single, but then get into a relationship a matter of months later? Is it a rebound?
Most Helpful Guy
Suffice to say, if he wants to sleep with other women, you're not his soul-mate. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I think he's far too immature to make such statements. You're really fucking with the emotions of the person who you profess to love, for a start, by suggesting that you should wait to get back together. Not to mention the wretched wrench apart by breaking up in the first place, so you can stick your willy into a warm vagina and ejaculate. Sex without love is just totally physical and hollow. If you love a girl with all of your fibre, her happiness, and your selflessness in ensuring it, comes to the fore; and it's the most horrendous agony, to imagine the two of you apart. Needing to sleep with other women is just childish nonsense. He's keeping tabs on you, because naturally, a part of him still loves you, he's jealous and insecure. I know this sounds harsh, but I mean seriously. Fine, you could make a pragmatic pact to return to one another, should the time arise. But let's not romanticise the thing, and talk of soulmates, I beg you.
As for this girl, again, it just sounds like more naivety. While one may plan to do one thing or another, the reality is, one tends to just muddle through, one can't plan what may come up; it's likely the two of them are a karmic match in some form. I don't think he knows what he wants, and there's a lot of tumult, it will take maybe a long time for the dust to settle, and for all to become clear.1