Girls, do you think she ever cared?

I might sound like a creep, but it bothers me and I want to get it off my chest... First off I never met this girl whom I was falling for in person so yeah feel free to say whatever of that...
We were introduced by a mutual friend, apparently she thought I was good looking, I thought she was gorgeous... So we started texting and talking on Facebook. She even more pressured me to get a snap chat so she could send me cute pics...
We had deep conversations about art, about our futures, our education (we had both gone to the same college), and what we enjoyed.
We flirted back and forth, I'd call her gorgeous, she'd call me dork. She told me she wanted to go on a date right before I asked her... So we had it scheduled.
But see she had issues. Drugs. Self harm type of issues. She'd like cut herself. Whenever she was upset if be worried about her and keep her talking to me so she didn't hurt herself... I guess I'd started to care for her. Sge opened up to me that bad influences in her life were coming back and that she hated herself and that all these drugs... She was taking them just to feel anything at this point... I stayed comforting her telling her she was more then those things... She said I was the only one that made her happy... That I was the sweetest person she'd ever met. Then three days before our date she stops talking to me. I hear from my friend that she got back with her abusuve ex who had threatened to have her jump and was also taling about killing himself... He had also been the influence she mentioned to me, he'd been giving her drugs...
She didn't talk to me for a while and when we did sge didn't mebtion him... I wanted to be there at least as a friend, I could relate to her depression...
but she went weeks of ignoring me. And it devestated me that she didn't even possibly see me as a friend then. There was some FB friending and unfriending then but that's the jist. We had one offer talk, she said her phone had been broken and she was sorry, yet I'd seen her on snapchat.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have my fair share of experience too with guys who are involved in drugs and all I can say is people who are under the influence of a substance cannot reason the way you can as a "normal" person. They do not understand things the way we do. For them it's all about their fix. It's a toxic environment because they often surround themselves with people who are also the same. They cannot be helped unless they want to help themselves and truly want to change. Unfortunately a lot of the guys I knew that were into it didn't want to change despite knowing that it is bad for them and expressing urges to change sometimes. One can only do so much. Lots of addicts are good at pushing the people who love them away and causing pain onto their partners.

    I'm sure she cared. I really think she did. Unfortunately her substance abuse has caused her to likely only care about one thing and that is drugs. Everything else is taking the backseat. That's why she got back with her ex. He supplies her with her biggest weakness. That's what they all go back to... they go back to the source.

    It's a lot of work to put up with someone like that. It is emotionally exhausting. I cannot express this enough. At the start it's all easy and you think it can go somewhere but it never works out that way. Eventually they drain you and can even pull you down there too. I know it might not feel like it right now but you kinda dodged a bullet. You need someone who builds you up. I also suffer from depression and my psychologist always said that I should avoid entering a relationship with someone who also struggles with it as it will not be useful but will just make me feel worse in the long run.

    • Lol I see the other comment given also says "dodged a bullet" :P
      I swear I didn't read it. But it just shows you how true it is.

    • Wow, thanks, I mean I guess I never really thought of it like that.
      I mean maybe on some level, but... Not so clearly.
      And I guess I get what you're saying about depression probably being worse in company... I didn't really see things that clearly.
      I guess over the last few days I kept seeing it as maybe the drugs made her say anything sweet to me instead of anything like the drugs got her to distance herself...
      I mean honestly the person I'm talking to now has been nothing but decent towards me. Yet I'm letting that whole thing damage my ego a tad much.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Looks like you dodged a bullet there chum.

    • Yeah... I mean in hindsight I guess I see that. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt a bit though

    • So does splinters don't worry she probably cared so much she couldn't bear the thought of bring you down. it was ultimately an act of supreme love.

  • i dont think she did.


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