Please do not judge me
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What Girls Said 2
I think you are lonely and unhappy and using this ex boyfriend to boost what self esteem you have left from a marriage gone wrong.
Harsh sounding words but wake up before you turn a few crazy weeks into a life altering mistake.
You need to decide if you actually want to save your maariage or if it has run its course. If you love your husband and want to work things out then try a new tactic.Instead of waiting for him to make you feel good or to take notice of you go and find ways of doing that for yourself. Do you have any girlfreinds or family memebrs you could spend time with? Take up a new hobby or activity. It will do 2 things - one give you some confidence back and a confident woman is way more attractive than a clingy angry needy one. Two maybe your husband may look round and wonder where the "furniture" went :) If you need to explain or vent your feelings do it on paper . Write a letter to your husband - it will give you space to organise your thoughts without being angry or combative. and remember to tell him you love him ( if that's true) don't just list what's wrong in your marriage.
As for your ex what are you trying to acheive here? Closure? well you have done more than enough for that you don't need to stay in touch if that's all you needed. Or maybe you just like the idea that someone loves you (you must be feeling pretty down right now and your exes attention must feel so nice). If that's the case ask yourself how fair you are being to either your husband or your ex. If you love your husband you are emotionally cheating on him with another man ( would you be Ok with him being this close to an ex of his?) and in this case you are simply using your ex for completely selfish reasons- does he deserve to be hurt again just because you are going through a tough time? If that's what's happening you need to gently disentangle yourself from your ex before it goes too far.
If you actually think that your marriage is over and its your ex you want then surely your husband has the right to know the truth? Even if you don't love him he is entitled to your respect. Tell him the truth - move out and take time to look at yourself before jumping into another relationship. If your ex cares for you and you do for him then you can each wait long enough to do the right thing by your husband. A new relationship built on cheating /lies and someone elses unhappiness is bound to fail particulalrly if your new man already has trust issues.
Take responsibility for your actions and stop using others as an emotional blanket...do you wnat to look in the mirror and see an adulteress or emotional manipulator or do you wnat to see a strong caring responsible woman who has done her best to hold true to her marriage vows and who has dome what was right not what was easy?
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