4 ½ years together and he cheated and left me. What should I do?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 and a half years, I'm 27 and he's 25 years old, we had plans for our future together and all, he always said I was the love of his life and that I was his perfect woman. Until 3 weeks ago when I found out he had been cheating on me with this girl from work he met a couple of months ago (I believe the affair started about 2 weeks before I found out). He said that he loved me and that our relationship was the best thing that ever happened to him but he had screwed it up so he coudn't be with me anymore, he cried and said that it was all his fault, that I was perfect, ( I have never seen him cry before), and he also said that he needs to be alone right now, and I asked if he wanted to be with this other girl (who also has a boyfriend but right now he lives in another city ) and he said that he has feelings for her but doesn't know if it can work out. We have seen each other a couple of times after the break up and have ended up having sex, and he has been very sweet and we've had a great time but remain broken up. So what do you think? Does he still have feelings for me? Is he just confused? If he Likes this other girl why are they not together? Why do I still care about him if he broke my heart?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • what should you do? be logical and stop tolerating in treating you like that. Love and respect yourself more..
    He cheated on you. It doesn't matter how long you've been together and never believe on "sweet words".. Believe in what he is showing to you.. Action speaks louder than words..
    For now, I think that he is just using your for sex and it remains like that because he is happy receiving the benefits..

    Think of this, if he is truly inlove and happy with you, he would not cheat on you. He would control himself not to fall in temptation with another girl.

    The girl and him are not together because we never know the reason (only both of them knows) and its none of your business anymore, its between them.

    You still care because you cannot accept the truth what he did to you and the truth hurts. No one wants to be hurt so you don't wanna accept the truth, hence, you don't wanna let him go (which I think is not good).

    Again, be logical. Stop tolerating his behavior. you're showing him that its okay to cheat because you're still attached with him and opening your legs for him.
    Forgive yourself, forgive him. Take it as a lesson learned and move on even it hurts. You will be healed as time pass by.

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What Guys Said 2

  • guess he has... although can u be sure he's not lying?

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  • move on, unless if you like what he's doing to you then hang around but i'm sure you will stay with him

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What Girls Said 6

  • Look, if a guy cheated, there's a reason and if he cheated one, he's more likely to do it again. If you get back with him he knows you'll be passive about it and have a higher chance to do it again.

    Being confused and pulling this stunt are two different things. If he was really confused, he would of told you right off the bat and not cheat. I know it hurts and I know it might be something you don't want to accept, but that's what happened. If you want to get back with him, that's on you but just know, if he did it once, he's likely to do it again.

    I've been with a guy who cheated on me and I know where you're coming from. But doing anything with him any further will not help how you feel and it will not be any easier.

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  • I think he is using you at this point. He's "having his cake and eating it too". Of course he is being sweet; that's how he can get what he wants. You can't move on as long as you are still hanging on. You will be the one to be hurt. He cheated and then broke it off with you. His actions there are speaking for him.

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  • Love cannot just go away in a split of a second after 4 years!!! It is not easy to forget him and i say that he still loves you but he was a gentleman and broke up with you cos he did not want to hurt you. Once a cheater always a cheater so beware so you won't get hurt once again

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  • It's normal for you to care about him. He's your love! or at least was your love. he's confused. I'm kinda on the same boat as you. And honestly, I think he still cares my ex and I also had sex after the break up but luckily yours has been sweet to you. My advice is to just let him breathe and figure his own thing out. Don't call or text him frequently but I think you should let him know your here. But more importantly, think about what you want. Because if you decide that you want to be with him and love him then you have to forgive him and pretty much move on from this situation. You should also make sure that if you guys are on the road to recovery that he leaves that girl alone.

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    • "Don't call or text him frequently but I think you should let him know your here". -That sounds tolerating his cheating behavior. If you let him know you're still there for him (and still giving sex) after he cheated and lied, he will do it again (not right away, but thats for sure).

  • it will take some time, but you will move on.

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  • Don't take him back. That was rotten of him. He doesn't deserve a second chance. They are both shit. Find a guy who isn't a piece of shit, girl! Forget about the loser. Once a cheater always a cheater. If he loved you he wouldn't screw her and wouldn't have feelings for her! He will only do it again.

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