Will saying no and being cold work?

He dumped me 3 months ago because he said he lost interest. We were together for 3 years and I couldn't just pretend he doesn't exist anymore so I accepted to stay friends and get some closure. Even though I was still in love with him I really wanted to try it out as friends. It didn't work because I don't like how he treats me as "friend". When he would initiate hanging out I would always be up for it, but when I initiate something he sometimes ignores or is not up for it. He would talk for hours about his day, but never ask me how was my day. He acts like nothing happened and he is different, not the guy I know. He also didn't wish me happy birthday because he got angry at me and jealous that I flirted with some other guy and he acted like I did something wrong. I mean helloooo you dumped ME! Anyways I don't like this hot/cold acting and I feel like I'm treating him too good for how he broke my heart and how he treats me now. I give him attention and I'm always there. Basically I feel like crap and I want to stop this. I don't enjoy his company anymore. How do I end this in hope he realizes he can't take me for granted? Will saying no and being cold work? I'm fine with both us loosing all contact and him changing, whatever may be may be.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just because two people Break up doesn't mean they can't and don't Make up and that it's Good-bye forever, my love. And with an "EX" who still Marks an X in your softie spot here, dear, there is usually motive in mind when the time comes and With This--------I accepted to stay friends and get some closure.
    You have found out that on top of the relationship that went bad, he is also no friend but just someone who keeps you at arm's length, which is harm's way to you and your heart, because you are a convenience that he still feels comfy with due to your history that you both have had together and yes... takes you for granted because you are always there for him and he knows it.
    From where I am sitting, not sure if you have Friends with benefits, I can only speculate, but one thing is for sure, you need to let go of this skeleton which probably should have stayed in the closure closet.
    However, if you begin a new beguine, just for laughs and giggles, play your cards right and show him you are your own straw boss and will not stand for it, he may just jump through a few hoops he has never jumped through before and who knows... he could end up to be at your beckoning call by your next birthday.
    If you just feel it's time to say Good-bye, then let go and let God and move on to someone who wants the same things as you do and... let the past float in the wind.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 2

  • Who cares? At what point do you get to start being yourself and having him appreciate you for who you are?

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    • Yeah I know, but it's like he would ignore me and not text me for weeks and then call me to ask me if I want to watch a new episode of Game of Thrones with him. And stuff like that. Or we go to grab a coffee and he gets a phone call and says "Oh I gotta go, bye!" and just runs away. I hate playing games, and as much as I want to do stuff that he suggests I don't want to be ditched out later like that.

    • Sweetie, I have a lot of dating experience. When someone behaves this way, I drop them like a hot rock.
      Save yourself a lot of heartache and trust me. When it comes to "gamesmen" like this, the only wining move it NOT to play.

      There are so many guys out there that want a women who is for real. Go find one.

  • well, then start to ignore him.
    being friends after a relationship hardly ever works out, and from my personal experience, i wouldn't even try because you will only waste your time end energy.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I completely get this situation. To be honest I think he is just using you. He's getting a lot of the benefits of a relationship but not the commitment which is a load of crap. This guy needs to grow up. Break contact with him and he will hopefully learn.

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  • Depends what type of guy he is. If he's a narcissist going AWOL not only will make him interested again, it would wound his ego that you are not pining for Mr perfect.

    If he's a sociopath, he lives for power and control. Ignoring him would work but what is even better is to be indifferent to him.
    If he contacts you, always respond but using only 1 or 2 words! It pisses them off big time and they usually tell you of their undying love within 3 weeks!

    If he's secure, mind games won't work and he probably will lose interest altogether.

    So basically, it depends!

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  • It could work

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