Guys, if you tried to forget a girl existed? Advice?

It’s a long story but the guy I loved disappeared - basically what happened is that he has for a while acted like he was in love with me and would joke about the future etc. (assuming I’m correct, God willing) but he and I have major differences regarding beliefs and I didn't know this until recently - a friend jokingly asked if I would ever marry (someone not of my religion) and I said no and the guy got a funny smile on his face and not long after that started pushing me away and his sister claims he sent a text that said "it's not like I had a chance with her anyway".

Anyway it’s been almost two months of misery and his brother has been consistently advising me to just “forget about him - that’s what he’s done to you” - and finally it occurred to me that him forgetting didn’t mean “you meant nothing,” but actually meant “you meant so much to him that it hurts him to remember” (God willing). I ran into him two weeks ago or so at an event and he looked intensely miserable just being near me. It was awful - the closest I can think of is a mug shot, that's how bad he looked.

A friend listened to the entire situation and said “I think he’s trying to forget that you exist.”

My question - how awful do you think he feels/how much do you think I meant to him if he legit is trying to forget I exist? Also, how long do you think something like that might take to get over for him? Also, any tips to help (like “avoid him,” “be civil” vs “ignore him”, etc.)? As my friend said, “If you really love him you’ll want the best for him and want him to get over this.”
I know this is super long, sorry - basically the last paragraph is my question. Thanks!
Anyone? Thanks!


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You either delude yourself or you just fucked up with his dreams and emotions. He obviously loves you if you are the cause of those miserable looks. If you mean that you wouldn't go any further with someone out of your religion, don't blow his mind and help him move on by not existing in his life. Good luck for the best of you two.

    • I don't want to get into an argument but he was aware for a long time that I wanted someone religious - I guess he's been struggling for a while with his beliefs and it finally occurred to him what that meant with regard to me so he shoved me away.

      "He obviously loves you if..." - thank you, I hope so and am trying to reduce his misery, God willing (for a while his brother was telling me he didn't care, was annoyed with me for asking about him, etc. - which I thought was semi-true until I actually saw him). I don't quite get the don't blow his mind part but he knows where I stand. He also knows that I am willing to talk to him and that I would consider him if he ever came back faith-wise (God willing) - and in the meantime I've been making an effort to be invisible, as my friend suggested.

  • Before trying to "forget him" try and get in contact with him again. If that doesn't work the best way I find to get over people is other social interaction and video games. Don't go to alcohol and/or drugs, that really doesn't end well.

    • I kind of did and he seemed to want absolutely nothing to do with me (he avoided me, talked to everyone else but his eyes didn't smile - and gave me this really... defeated lost look from across the room) - and his brother seems super protective of him and is like just leave it alone. No no I have no interest in alcohol/drugs, God forbid. I guess I want to know how much pain you think he's in/has been in, and what I can do to make it better, God willing.

    • Show All
    • maybe - I don't know. thanks for the help!

    • You're welcome, that's what I am here for.
      I don't come on here every day but if you need someone to talk to you can PM me.

Recommended myTakes