Breaking up with a girl who doesn't want you for you?

I suspect this has happened in my friend's case, but we don't know.

The only stuff we have to go on are these comments:

"The only reason you love me is because I respect and care about you."

"I am not the one for you."

"How do you know I'm the one for you?"

"I wasn't allowed to be myself around you."

But these are just fragments of a long conversation. Also, he knows that he is the first "good man" in her life; she had a history of dating jerks before him.

She truly loves him and wants him back. He's been ignoring her phone calls and emails though, especially because the last time they talked it got pretty heated.

What advice should I give her? She's thinking about sending him a love poem on his birthday (5 months after the breakup)? They were together for two years.

What are tell-tell signs that a guy is breaking up with you because he feels you don't want or appreciate him?


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  • If it was my friend, I would say to her to move on because he is done. In addition, I don't think the poem is a good idea because it has been 5 months and he is in a different place than her. It will turn him off and probably end up in the circular file. I did this to a guy I was involved with and it changed nothing.

    The signs that a guy is breaking up with you is he starts to close off emotionally and physically. He won't spend as much time with his gf, refuse intimacy, calls and texts are reduced, the convos will be shorter as will his answers. There might be a coldness to him and obvious distance. In addition, he might pick petty arguments in an effort to initiate a break up.

    Hope this helps your friend.

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