To go on a break: 'Don't get your hopes high' - What is he thinking?

I’ve been with this guy for 3 years (16-19), I was his first girlfriend, first kiss, everything. We started dating from college to uni but he failed a year of college & got held back while I was starting my first year of uni. Well uni didn’t go so well for me so I decided on a different course, he then mentioned for me to come to his because it was a better 1 & also ‘it would be awesome hanging out together’.

When it was the start of the year things went downhill, dealing with the suicide of my best friend I felt so isolated from every1 else, I thought that he would be there for me because we had a wonderful relationship before. But we rarely hung out, he hung out with this other girl who has been to his house within 3 weeks of knowing her & I haven't for the past 1 ½ years. It made me angry & I would snap at the mention of her name, & every time an argument arose, he would always tell me to ’stop being so annoying’… So I stopped snapping.

He broke up with me 2 days ago, said that he had no love for me & that his decision to break up was for my own good, & we should still be friends. When I asked him back, he said that he had to ‘stick with his own decision because he never stuck with anything else in his life’. We have mutual friends & when I spoke to them about it, they mentioned that the day before he said that he wouldn’t break up with me & that he did love me. Can you stop loving some 1 in 24 hours? Its really strange, he bought me presents 4 my upcoming birthday a few days before he broke up with me.

I try to ask him the reasons why he broke up with me, the response was ‘u don’t need closure’ or ‘trust me you don’t want to know’, I need reasons for the sake of closure because I can’t keep feeling confused. He wanted to break up but after I begged & cried like an idiot he wanted to just go on a break, we kissed but before he left, but he said ‘don’t get your hopes high’. & when he got home I felt stupid because I begged for some1 to love me, so I called him up & told him to forget about the break, he replied ‘so you get it now..’.. ouch. I still miss him because I know what type of person he can be & has been for the past 3 years, I just don’t understand him at the moment.

Also when I ask him if he wants to ever get back with me he says ‘no, not at the moment’. But I think he’s stringing me along, he says, ‘u never know, maybe someday in the future we might get back together again’.

Today I won a ‘free romantic meal for two’. ARGH.

Why won’t he give me the closure I need?

Is it possible to stop loving some 1 after 24 hours?

If some 1 claims they have no love for u, why do they even mention getting back together in the future?

How do I get my mind off these things?

I have 1 lesson a week seeing this guy, how would I deal with this if I want to;

- Resist the urge not to shout @ him

- Make him see that perhaps this break up was a bad idea

- Still be friends?


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What Guys Said 1

  • its seems pretty obvious the way he's acting and how he doesn't want to tell you is because he most likely cheated on you and wanted to end things before you found out the hard way

    most guys wouldn't even show that courtesy, maybe he is under the illusion that he loves this new girl more than you or maybe he really does love her

    at the moment it seems though as if he won't be coming back, you don't want to be friends with him after a break up like this, nor does he deserve it

    although he was noble enough to break with you instead of having 2 girls at once he still cheated so even though you won't be able to forget him you need to remove him from your life for now, maybe someday he will see what mistake he made and come back to you, maybe he won't

    for now though try to go on with your life although it will be hard and don't be friends it will just make things worse

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