My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me because of my trust issues. I have been cheated on in the past so I don't trust guys?

We still talk everyday and he tells me that he knows we have something special but I need to trust him. He tells me that he wants to marry me but that he can't until I trust him. He also tells me he isn't seeing anyone else and that if he didn't want the relationship to work then he wouldn't still be trying to work things out. I even went and visited him last weekend and he cried 3 times while I was there. Even though he has told me all of this I am still having problems believing it's all true. What do I do?

Updates:
Recently he deactivated his fb and blocked me from it but he quickly deactivated it once I found out. I also know that he had messaged two girls on there asking them out for coffee and lately he will tell me he will call me but he never does. Is it possible he's seeing someone else or am I being paranoid.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been cheated on many times in the past and although it's never easy, I had to move on. I just think that a part of them is not happy with me or the way things are going in the relationship and hence they cheated in the first place. That also means that I am probably not the right person for them in the first place. If I truly cared about her or loved her once, I have to let her go and move on; I have to do that either way. I guess what I am saying is, you have to open up, move on and let this guy earn your trusts, otherwise you might miss out on what could have been a really good relationship.

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What Guys Said 6

  • What do you do? Well, trusting him would be a start...

    I mean, from what you described he seems like a good man. Why not trust him?

    Think about it this way, if you are equating him to the person who cheated on you in the past, then you are not respecting him. Do you respect him?

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    • I have my reserves because he has done some sketchy things. Lately he activated his fb but blocked me from it and had messaged a couple of girls asking them out for coffee and lately he hasn't been calling me at night anymore. Could he be seeing someone else?

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    • I didn't think to add it. He is 28 and I just figured he was old enough to know better than to play with my emotions like that.

    • If someone plays with your emotions they are immediatly not mature and not worth it. I suggest you move on, he is not a safe bet for a stable relationhip.

  • You need to get past your trust problem. The fellow is obviously deeply in love with you. That will not happen many times during your life. Do not let your psychological problem destroy that. Resume the relationship and talk the trust issue through with a psychologist.

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    • I want to trust him but lately he has been distant. I think he might be seeing someone else but anytime he question him he tells me he isn't. He says that every time I ask him this it's a stab at his character and the person he is trying to be.

  • Well sounds like he's trying to move on. He sounds a little emotionally screwed up if he just cries that easily said he wanted to marry you and then decided to just block you. I don't know it sounds like the relationship is kind of over. If he's never done anything wrong but you just never trust him then you need to work on your trust issues before you try getting into another relationship because that is not fair to someone if you enter a relationship knowing you'll have issues trusting them.

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    • I'm just so confused at why he wouldn't just tell me it's over. Instead he still keeps telling me that he wants to work all of this out because we have something special. I live in Texas and he lives in Idaho. Wouldn't it be easy to call it quits if it was really what he wanted?

    • I'm not sure. Maybe he doesn't want to admit that it's over and it's easier for him to just ignore it.

    • He has been distant since I visited him last weekend. I caved into my insecurities and looked through his journal and apartment to try and find evidence he was seeing someone else. I didn't find anything but he says that I have nearly pushed him too far.

  • forget the past. don't let it ruin your future romances. You can still have your guard up, but don't be too extreme.

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  • So are you going to go the rest of your life not trusting the guys you meet? Better get some cats...

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    • You are the same age as him. Do guys at your age still play with girls minds or are they pretty honest when they don't see it working out?

    • Guys of any age can be dicks. Or great guys. If he hasn't done anything to indicate you can't trust him - and I mean something real and verifiable, not in your imagination - I don't see why you are not able to trust him. It sounds like you may just be waiting for the next betrayal, like a dog that's been beat too much and expects to get hit by every person who comes along.

    • @zagor Yes trusting is difficult but necessary in relationship ^^

  • Have you ever caught him cheating on you or has anyone ever told you he was cheating on you?

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    • I've never caught him cheating but recently he hasn't been talking to me as much as he used to.

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    • Lately though he hasn't been calling me at night anymore. I'm trying not to read too much into it but I'm scared that maybe he is seeing someone else.

    • And you may be right or maybe not. Don't jump to conclusions and imply he is cheating though if you don't know it for sure. Do you homework and figure it out is he or is he not cheating. The only thing outside of that left for you to do is call it off and be done with it it's only fair for both.

What Girls Said 2

  • it's you the problem. 2 years and half and you still can't trust him?

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  • give him another chance. it will strengthen you.

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