Is it really over with them?

I recently found emails between my husband and some woman. It was all friendly conversation nothing sexual but it's been over many months these emails have been exchanged. The last one however she told my husband she couldn't email him anymore but she would see him around. I started asking close friends and found out that he had an affair with her (married too!) a few years back. I confronted him and he admitted they'd slept together once but stayed friends only. He admits she stopped the communication and he's not sure why but that they no longer have contact. he also said there was only one time they ran into each other and they said hi and that was all. My question is should I believe it's really done and over? I tend to think that nothing is really ever over unless it's CLEAR it's over. This seems like it's on pause but he even showed me they've blocked each other on social media. I've heard stories where years go by and the flame doesn't die it just takes opportunity. I'm wondering if I should be concerned.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think if you can take it and forgive it then do it , it may be hard for you , but at least try , i have been there , and i knew he is talking to someone else , i just couldnt make it , couldnt trust him or touch him after that , but still we were not married , and had no children , so yes , try harder to save it if you can :s, an he really should try to make it up for you and make you trust him again , if he did , then give him a chance, ifyou couldnt then dont go too hard on yourself trying to live with someone you dont feel safe inside with him , both choices are difficult :s , men are so selfish i hate the way they just do what they want putting all the consequences on the woman :s. please let me know what will you do?

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    • I really want to try but it just looms like a dark cloud this nagging feeling like communication just stopped and it wasn't really a complete ending. It just bothers me. Do you understand what I mean?

    • yes i quite understand you :S , i have been there , he calls me and he knows i am really hurt but trying to avoid it , i try to be myself and to be intimate like i used to but it is so hard , words couldnt come out of my mouth , it felt like talking to a stranger , so sad when they cheat like that they kill all the intimacy between him and the one he loves :S , they are so stupid , i really feel you , it is a very hard situation , and the worst part is having to sleep with him while u think " but maybe he wanted someone else:" it is too hard, well my dear , just try to believe him and trust him if that was his first mistake , mine wasn't even his second or third mistake so it was really hard for me to get past it , but if it is his first , well you can give it a try , and if you couldnt dont push yourself so hard, take your kids and go on a vacation for somedays and think if you can spend the rest of ur life with that person or not. please let me know your updates, i am willing to liste

    • This actually happened many months ago but I worry that one day they will run I to each other and boom! If I had reassurance that time and distance helps squash that connection I'd feel better. But to live everyday wondering if he's thinking about her and if he saw her somewhere. It keeps me worried.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • he said hi at least... so not over at all

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    • See that's kind of how I feel. Once you've gone down that path unless you completely hate each other it's never done.

  • Do you feel that he loves you? Yes then he will always love you!

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What Girls Said 4

  • If your friends knew about this then you need new friends. I'd also suggest a new husband because most cheaters are repeat offenders.

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  • I wouldn't break up a family over someone saying hi to someone else. I'd be wary and observant. See how you get on. Good luck x

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  • I think it's not worth it to find out whether its over or not. The fact is he cheated and you don't deserve it...

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    • We have four young children so if he's changed we need to try for our family

  • i dont think so...

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    • Can I ask why you think that? Just be blunt with me.

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