Why does the thought of my ex hooking up with other people KILL me? How can I get over this thought?

I haven't seen my ex in two months, and that was about the time when we broke up. The thought of him hooking up/being with someone else literally makes me so sick to my stomach. I've already had sex with two guys since then because I thought it'd make things easier for me, and it didn't. They didn't mean anything. If he finds out, I'm scared he's going to hook up with people as a way to get back at me. Him hooking up with others is the only thought that's holding me back from moving on. It's just like, how could he do that after we were together for so long? I know I can't really talk since I hooked up with people.. but it still didn't help me get over this. I know it's human nature for us to get with other people but it just doesn't seem right to me. All of my friends tell me they doubt he's hooked up with someone since no one really cares for him... and say I can do so much better. They say people have wanted me before I dated him but no one wanted him... which is true. Just the thought of him doing what me and him did with someone else really makes my anxiety go up. When we did it it was special, and meaningful. So I doubt a hook up would be meaningful for him since my two recently weren't? Now I'm just rambling soo.. I just want to know how to stop this thought.
Also, I want to know if I'll eventually just not care about that anymore?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You will always have those memories, and so will he, it's not something that just goes away because you are no longer together. If those times were meaningful when you two were together, they'll still be meaningful now. Yes you will both likely move on, but by dating each other you gained experience in order to pick someone even better for you to date in the future. So just think of it like that-- he wasn't the best guy for you and now you have the opportunity to find someone better (in other words, forget about him and focus on what makes you happy). It does take time though, so try not to rush it.

    • true! so do you think it hurts him just as much as it hurts me?

    • I'm sure he is definitely hurting especially if you feel the way you do-- if he wasn't he probably would've moved on by now. But don't worry, as you meet new people and time passes the anxiety you feel when you think about it will definitely fade away. Good luck!

    • A couple weeks ago I asked him "you just don't love me anymore? that easy for you?" and he said "you have no idea how hard it is to not love you" ... so it's hard for the both of us but true true thank you!

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What Guys Said 1

  • It is a most horrible thought. It has haunted me for all of my adult life. It fades a little with time, but you will always feel he belongs to you.


What Girls Said 2

  • I know sweetheart! It's the emotional side of your brain fighting the logical side. XD
    It gets better and easier with time as you come to grips with the reality. But for now it sucks! 😊

  • stop thinking about it!

    • I know but it's so hard not to!

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