What's the longest it took you to get over an ex?

Logic tells me I'll get over mine one day but right now, it doesn't seem possible :'( I honestly thought we were gonna get married and be together till we died.

I've been trying to focus on other things all day but I can't do it. I hate crying, specially if I'm not alone (my sister can hear me) and I don't wanna feel as miserable for too long.

I wanna get back together but don't know if that's gonna be possible :( so how long did it take you?

Updates:
If anyone knows how to deal with breaks up in a better way, I'll really appreciate it because I'm dying lmao

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Everyone has different times for healing. Some people start grieving the relationship before it is over, some people were never in love, some people don't get attached, and some people never get over it.

    They say that it takes about half the length of the relationship to recover.

    I was in a relationship with my ex for about 5 and a half years. We were together for 2 and a half solidly and then we hit a rocky patch and the rest we were on and off. As you guessed, I didn't get over him through our off patches. When we did finally break up for good, it took me a little over a year to get over him. I didn't really miss him, I was too busy being angry at him, but to get to the point where I was ready to be in a new relationship and not bring anger into it was a long time. I got into a relationship about a year and a half after our break up.

    As horrible as it is, let yourself cry. Cry it out, and one day you won't have any tears left. It's important to get the emotions out now before they follow you and haunt you. Try to get out with friends, don't look at his online profile (because we both know you are sneaking peeks occasionally). I got my friend to change my facebook password so I couldn't look at his profile and see what he was doing. It gave me important time away that I needed to stop obsessing. Take up a new hobby. Do something you used to enjoy. Fill your days with seeing people and doing things and you'll start to focus on the things you are doing rather than him. Go out with your sister. Nobody is saying you need to go and date someone asap, but distract yourself.

    Remember you are your own person. You need to look after yourself and if you want to be with him again he isn't going to fall in love with your red eyes and blotchy skin. He'll fall in love with your smile. Enjoy yourself and don't close your eyes to someone else. Experience life, have some silly truth or dare snogs, be 18, and whatever happens was meant to be. You'll be fine.

    Good luck.

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    • Oh also, if you don't have one already you could try started a diary. I found it really useful - instead of nagging my friends with how much I missed him, I would nag my diary instead. It got it off my chest without annoying anyone and I could be brutually honest. I could be like "his dick wasn't that nice anyway" or WHATEVER :P Its a way of letting go without anyone seeing.

    • It's a girl, actually haha.
      I'm glad you're better now and you're right. That's a good advice. I'm a little worried about the hanging with friends because we have lots of friends in common but I guess I'll have to find a way to make it work out. Thank you

    • Doesn't really matter on gender for the advice but fair enough!
      Well, make sure you make time for YOU. Get some distance so you can clear your head. If you need anything or want to chat, send me a message. Good luck darling x

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • This sounds pathetic, but it's been almost 3 years and I'm still not completely over her. I don't think about it most days, but when it comes down to it, I'm not even interested in another relationship anymore just for the sheer fact that I will most likely never meet someone as amazing as she is ever again.

    If you are still looking for advice on how to handle it, I would suggest that you avoid being alone, and avoid staying inside. Force yourself to go out with friends, if you have a hobby go out and do that (for me it's photography, I can go out all day and it seems like I just forget about any and all problems). Maybe try spending some time with friends or family

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    • Hope things get better soon!

      I'll try, thanks. I think I'll focus more on sports

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    • Oh, probably that's why its taking so long to get over them.

    • Probably, you can't ever really forget about someone like that though. No matter how hard you try they will always be in the back of your mind

  • Five years.

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  • I'm still struggling to get over my late ex
    She was gone 744 days ago (almost 2 years and 1 month)

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  • Two weeks. I don't form attachments very easily.

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  • Im still have a broken heart after your mom dumped me

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  • It took me 5 months to get over her after 2 month relationship LMAO and I was the one who broke it off SMH

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    • Why did you break up?

    • Had enough of the drama and couldn't imagine myself happy being with her any longer. She was very clingy, pressure us to get married and got upset with smallest things. I was totally exhausted and couldn't concentrate on my career.

  • Going through it right now. With her for a few years, she cheated on me. In a few months it will be one year. Probably the longest. Dated a lot of girls and had more sex in the past year with someone different than any other time in my life.

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What Girls Said 17

  • I was with a guy for 2 years, much the same as your situation, we thought we'd get married. Took me 8 months to get over him fully. I ended up rushing into another relationship too early and it made the whole closure process even worse, and I ended up hurting the other guy by doing so. My advice, keep busy. Don't be actively searching for other guys because all you will end up focusing on is how they do or do not meet the expectations you have from your ex. Surround yourself with positive friends & family. And most of all- listen to music that pumps you up!

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    • Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. I see lots of people rushing into new relationships and I don't have the experience but it always seemed wrong to me. I'll keep it in mind.
      The hanging out with friends scares me a bit because we share the same circle :/ I'll have to find a way to make it work

  • Wasn't so much that I lost an ex, but I lost a close friend whom I had feelings for. It took about 7 months, and that is the average time it takes to get over someone. It was hard, because not only I didn't have a chance to be with him in a relationship, but I lost a friendship. It sucks, but hang in there.

    If I may ask, was there a reason for the break up? Was it a mutual break up between the two, or was this a blind-side move?

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    • It was completely out of nowhere. Her dad has cancer and she's taking lots of classes at school right now so we hadn't been seen each other much but still the break up was completely out of nowhere because we were having no problems at all. She said she didn't feel right being in a relationship right now and that she's too busy and needs to focus on the things I mentioned.

  • It took me months to get over my ex of 7yrs who got a month after dating this one girl. I cried for days but every time I cried, I always focused on why it hurt me so much and not get over it already. Truth is, it's going to hurt like hell the next couple of days since you pictured your life with that person. However, think of what matters most to you and try to picture life without that person and what their missing out. The day you stop feeling sorry for yourself and accept that things are different now, is the day you'll be able to smile and not regret what had happened. Just be thankful that you were happy and that's all matters.

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  • Me and my ex broke up last April and I just fully excepted it was over at the end of March so about a year. We were together for 5 months but knew each other and dated on and off for 4 years. We don't speak at all anymore. Avoid being alone at all costs because when you're alone it makes things 100x worse since you have time to think about all that went wrong.

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  • Whoa. Let's see. I was with my second ex for 3 years and some change. Ended things for good about 6-7 years ago. I was completely over him last year.

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    • Wow that's a long time :/ I'm glad things are better now

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    • Wow that's awful :/ have you seen each other since then?

    • Seen each other? No. We've talked a few times tho.

  • The first crush i ever had took: 5 years but i didn't like him during all that time. It was everynow and then.
    The 2: months
    The 3: a year
    And the one i consider a total crush more than 2 years that was not a good one.

    Lately i lose interest really quick.

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    • Jesus :(

    • Dont feel bad the one that took me teo years it was because i NEVER WENT OUT. As soon as i did i realize i was stupid for not doing it before, you'll met someome trust me

    • Ohhh, got it. lol I don't wanna meet anyone else haha :( but yeah I eventually will, I guess... thanks

  • Like 3 months... I fell into depression. I wrote a take about it.

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  • Typically about a year.

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  • 11months after 11 months of relationship

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  • About 6 months

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  • About 5 months.

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  • It took me like 2-4 days. It's very hard for me to form an emotional connection.

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  • A YEAR AND FIVE MONTHS CUZ WERE TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS

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  • The most two months... i pretended like i was over it but I wasn't

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  • Three years and still counting :(

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  • 2 year relationship with my ex fiancĂ©, it's been 5 years since and I still haven't gotten over him and I've accepted it's never going to happen. We have been "friends" now for a year and a half now and from what I've been told, he hasn't quite get over me completely either.

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    • Hope things get better soon. Why did you break up?

    • Thanks, and He dumped me. He was military and we were long distance for most of our relationship. Couldn't close the distance and he didn't want me to wait around for him.

  • I was with my boyfriend for 6 years and it took me two months

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    • Really? that doesn't sound that bad for a 6 year relationship. Who broke up with who?

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    • Took a bit but not as long as I thought it would there was a point I thought it was getting worse with time but honestly rebounds are the best thing you can do for yourself and putting your self in social situations not letting yourself be alone or deal with the situation helped me a lot lol

    • lol so should I hook up with someone? I don't even wanna do it, to be honest haha. Right now I just wanna die. You're right. I should be more social. I'll see if I can hang out with friends tomorrow.

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