When should I break up with my boyfriend?

I've been meaning to break up with my boyfriend, I just don't like him as much as I used to and he honestly just annoys me I won't go into detail. But yesterday was my 18th birthday and he bought me $130 worth of a beautiful necklace and earrings and it's making it so much harder now that he bought me it.. he's also already coming to my graduation banquet so should I break up with him after he comes to my grad? Or do it before then? It's just so hard to stay with someone you don't like anymore but he bought me such expensive stuff after I told him not to ): I just don't want to hurt him


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He may be aware you're pulling away from him, which is motivating him to try and lure you back to him with gifts and his unbridled attentiveness towards you. That's a noble effort on his part, but it's also a bit manipulative; especially since you told him you did not want him to buy you those things, and if he has half a brain, he's got to know you're going cold on him.

    That doesn't make him a bad person, as what he's doing is pretty common. But you're starting to want distance, and he's doing everything he can to secure a life line in the hopes he'll continue to go with you.

    I do not think you should let an event or something he gave you (which should have been unconditionally and not as an attempt to change your feelings about him) delay something you feel strongly about. Your relationship is no longer working for you and you're ready to move on. There's no easy way around this, and as long as you keep quiet, he still has false hope you might still be in love with him.

    You owe it to him and to yourself to make a clean break, and you can't worry about feeling obligated, because all you're doing there is prolonging the inevitable. He can also use your silence against you by trying to make you feel even worse by saying how he did all these things for you while you said nothing about wanting to break up.

    So, he'll be sad and hurt, but the relationship cannot go anywhere with just one participant, and the sooner you break things off with him, the better off you'll both be. If it makes you feel better, you can offer to return his gifts, and just say you're sorry he made plans to attend your banquet, but you felt he needed to know how you felt and you'd prefer he not be there.

    There's no way around not hurting him, and the longer you draw this out, the harder it will be for the both of you. It's unfortunate someone has to be let down, but that's the way relationships go sometimes and it happens to all of us.

    Good luck,

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    • It's a little more complicated like half of me wants to stay with him because I really have no other friends and without him I'll be so lonely, which is kinda why I wanna do it after grad because I want to have a date for grad because I really have no other friends to have fun with /: sounds selfish but yeah

    • So (and I mean this with all due respect) you're using him for your own personal benefit because you don't want to be alone? Your wanting a date is more important than being truthful with him? I think that's a terrible idea.

      With that being said, you're not the only person to ever feel that way. Lots and lots of folks stay in relationships for similar reasons, and that does not make you a bad person, but somewhat consistent with many others.

      There's no half of you that wants to stay with him because you love him and want to work things out, so while I understand your reasoning, I think it's just wrong. As long as you're allowing him to hang around, you're giving him false hope and as I said above are just using him.

      But, I'm not you, and your thought process isn't illegal, so it's up to you. Being alone is not always fun, but being in a relationship you know isn't going to work out is usually a lot worse.

      Not condemning you; just offering my opinion.

      Good luck,

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What Guys Said 3

  • Break up isn't always easy to go through. Someone will always be left hurt after it. In your case, you have personal reasons of why you want to break up with him. From what you said, it seems like he is trying to get your attention once more, but his cheezy actions are simply not cutting it. It will be good for both of you to still be friends, if and only if, you want it. But be sure to break up in person, not over text, email or a phone call.

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  • Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy in these things. Just let him down easy.

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  • do it be4 then

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think you need to break up with him before the graduation, because there's no point being with someone you no longer have feelings for in that way and you don't want him to feel used in the process. When you do break up with him you need to tell him the reasons why but don't be hurtful about it, I also think that you should give the gift back even if he tell you to keep it because you don't wanna be seen as a gold digger or a user but at the same time you don't wanna hurt him. I think honesty is the best policy.

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  • Now. Just before the grad. Sorry but you have to and have no choice but to hurt him in the process.

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  • Whether you do it before or right after the graduation is whatever but please return the jewelry

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  • is there a way to just let him know how he bothers you, and you two can work on it?
    he clearly still care about you a lot. Either way, he will be hurt.

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    • Agree, bring up how he annoys you, have a chat about it first maybe.. Then decide. Just be honest with him

  • Do it before he gets you more into you. Do it for him.

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