I'm supposed to meet with my ex-girlfriend over coffee to talk about things. She wants to be friends again as we haven't really talked since she broke up with me two months ago. I've thought about it for a while and was going to be fine with it, but my motives for being friends just isn't right. I want to be friends to try and get back with her eventually, and to be friends with benefits . Which might ultimately hurt me. I don't think being friends with someone I still have romantic feelings for will be best. She told me before that she wants nothing more than friends and I don't think I could handle seeing her with another guy. My parents don't even want me to meet with her because they think seeing her will set me back further. They want me to just tell her over the phone, so I don't have to see her. I want to though to show that I am strong enough and trying to move on. I'm just worried she'll beg me to be friends and that she'll try to manipulate me with good times we had together. I need to make sure what I say is set in stone! Any other suggestions?
Most Helpful Girl
If you want to get back with her and she just wants you to be friends it's best if you don't meet her at all. It will just hurt you. By the way, think about why you broke up in the first place. Getting back with an ex almost never ends good.0
Most Helpful Guy
Right, this is the perfect situation to use this "tactic" to get an ex back.
There's only one thing you can do.
You tell her you're not interested in being friends (which is true). You want to be her partner and lover, not her male girlfriend. You can even tell her what you told us that you "don't think being friends with someone I still have romantic feelings for will be best"
She'll likely say she's not interested, you need to tell her this "Well that's a shame. If you change your mind do contact me, but other than that I want to move on with my life".
If she has any attraction/interest in you she will eventually reach out. It might take a couple of weeks or a couple of months, but as soon as she realises that you're serious and the radio silence is you moving on, she'll contact you.
People tend to look back on the past through pink glasses... she'll start to reminisce about the past and eventually it'll push her.
When/if she reaches you NEED to assume she wants to see you. So you just answer whatever she sends with "Hey, it's great to hear from you. I'd love to meet up, when are you free?".
Now if she agrees, that's great. But you must let HER do 100% of the contact there after... THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT. She dumped you, remember.
If she says no, just say "Oh that's a shame, well if you change your mind contact me in the next 2-3 weeks. Till then, I gotta run!"
She'll either contact you again (to which you do the same thing), agree to meet with you or never contact you again.
THIS IS IMPORTANT:
If she agrees you NEED to make sure she comes to you (i. e your house in the evening). Tell her you'll make dinner together and to bring some wine.
If she says she'd rather you come to hers say "It's been a long week, I'm really tired and I'm just up for something quiet at mine. If you change your mind contact me in the next 2-3 weeks".
Let HER chase YOU.
Please follow this... it'll help and it's definitely the best way.
Let me know what happens!0