HELP! How to 'break up' with someone I'm not in a relationship with? (yet... or at least from my position)?

So I met this guy and the first night we met - it was quite a unique coincidental meeting - we kissed as we were in a concert environment and the mood was just there (and the drinks...) Even at this point I wasn't entirely sure I was into it, but I had fun and the next two nights we met up again, and it was fun. Back in our home towns we met up every few weekends and by now (have been super busy) we've seen each other like 7 times.

I have NOT meant to lead him on, we haven't even made love for some reason, but I know by the way he speaks to me he seriously is invested and probably feels I am too... I haven't made it the clearest because I haven't known where I stand (it takes me this long to get to know someone is that a crime?)

I'm starting to feel seriously scared and guilty because ultimately I like spending time with him but for me the spark isn't there I've finally realised that I wouldn't want to be his girlfriend (we haven't used any titles but I foresee him telling all his friends about me etc etc). I tried to look past the attraction issue, but it really is stopping me truly wanting to be with him exclusively.

I'm very independent and maybe a little emotionally unavailable (little does he know) but I need to find a way to break it off with him... HOW?

I really didn't want to hurt him, he's so invested for some reason, and it's all too fast and emotional for me (eg. the texts he sends). A part of me doesn't feel it should be this hard - yes, we have spent a lot of time in the day, acting like a couple, day kissing etc, but we haven't even slept together nor know each other thaaaat well yet.

Worried, because he seems to be waiting for me when i return home for good from where i've been living on and off... PLEASE HELP!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Be honest with him, you can't go wrong, and he will appreciate it

    • Say it's feeling rushed, and your confused/uneasy atm...
      Don't add anything condescending like he will find someone else,
      Likewise, don't burn your bridges either, you might change your mind down the road

    • Thanks, good luck with it

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What Guys Said 2

  • In break up, someone will always be hurt. Just tell him, that you need some time alone and you want to be only friends with him, nothing more.

  • just say "sorry but i cannot see u dat way... please don't b offended"

    • So nervous at how he'll react. Because the worst part is - he will have NO IDEA it's coming... I have been hiding this niggling feeling the last few dates because I thought maybe it was just ME being scared

What Girls Said 1

  • It is completely understandable that you are scared of his reaction. It is completely understandable that you did not intend to lead him on. HOWEVER, if you continue to move forward in the 'relationship' without telling him where you stand you are being cruel. Just tell him. As soon as possible. The longer you wait the harder it will be for the both of you.
    Best of Luck.


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