Girls, What do I do? How do I move on?

I have been with the mother of my two year old son for 6 years. I treated her like a queen. I cooked her meals, drew her baths, massaged her back when she was tired and sore, played piano for her every night to help her sleep. I love her with everything I have.. all my heart, body, mind, and soul. Yet she has always been.. different. When she's mad, she would purposely say the words she knew cut me the deepest. She once took my son and dissapeared for three months, with a co-worker of hers that was "just a friend".. like a fool I took her back.. I recently lost my job, and she had to move in with family, which doesn't like me.. I had to move an hour away, trying to find work, trying desperately to make a life, a futurw for us.. now she has decided that she no longer wants to be with me. She has my son, and I dont get to see him.. I am still searching for work, and it's so hard going on knowing that I gave everything I had to her, only to be told it wasn't enough.. I know I can do better, but I can't get over her.. I don't get out much at all.. i'm in a remote town, in the middle of nowhere. How do I find someone, not to replace her, that isn't my goal, but someone who cares? Someone to talk to. Someone to help ease the loss.. I know it sounds so cliche, and i've heard the "It's not worth it", but I have since tried ending my life twice. I stepped in front of a moving truck, and was airlifted to the hospital only to make a full recovery... I cut my wrist to the bone, and passed out in the bathtub, only to wake up in the energency room.. a neighboor had heard water running and thought a pipe had busted and came in and found me.. how do I keep going? How do I live in a world I no longer love? Someone save me.. because I no longer have the strength to save myself..

Updates:
Taking custody of my son would be a winderfull option. But it won't happen. I have no home, no job, no income. Things could turn around, i'm not saying my life is over. I've just lost faith in myself completely. I'm tired of always being the bad guy, it always being my fault, and just sick of dealing with everything in this world. My honest opinion? My son would be better off without me.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Dont worry have faith... Now focus on ur son... She is clearly not a good influence.. So u take full custody of ur son.. Listen i knw u may find this rude and insensitive... But ur life is actually very very short.. But ur son's life has not even started yet... Yea if need someone get a good frnd.. Maybe connect with someone u hv not talk to for years... and if u need anyone else to talk to there's always me :) u r not alone in this.. There r so many people out there... If u play the piano well.. Start a career out of it...
    Take care Sir! :)

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