After one month, is it still possible I can get her back?

that girl moves on at the speed of light, hell she didn't even need one month to get over me, she said she is with another guy a month ago, and since then trying to talk was so difficult, 2 weeks ago I sent her a text and she replied that I'd better send an email cause I'm making her trouble, she wanted me to believe that her guy could be reading what I send her although she let anyone send her flirting texts and talking to her in that way when I was with her, and when I tried to object she threatened me with breaking up... but the reasons she broke up with me were different from that, she just said that she doesn't feel the connection anymore (moved in to a different city and didn't find the time to talk to me like before on phone and online) and then said there are better men than me to her that she likes how they talk and behave, the night she told me that she compared me to her new guy and said I'm the worst boyfriend she ever had and he is the nicest ever... since that time I tried to talk to her and she would only reject me without a single sensible conversation, until what happened 2 weeks ago and I didn't try to contact her anymore, I was sending her long emails before that all the time and telling how I feel in them and such, she never replied till this moment, I have no clue how to get in touch with her once again or get her back, or how a girl I've been with for over a year replaces me in a blink of an eye. It was mostly a long distance thing between us and I believe she lives with her new boyfriend now, I have no clue if that's true or not...

can I do anything? did she make me believe that she has a new boyfriend just to make me hate her and stop all the contact? why did she do that and she was telling me that I'm the best she could find? any solutions from experienced people here would be appreciated, I need solutions to affect her or at least make her feel bad about what she did, and no I don't know her address at the moment. She used to hide everything from me and know everything about me, I know I've been naive, but I thought love was built on trust that never fades. any help dear friends

Updates:
I forgot to mention that the only way I can catch her is on IM (msn) once every two weeks or so, last time she signed in she was so calm and didn't even try to talk to me, and said she went on to talk to "friends", I know what friends are those...
... one of them is that creep that kept texting and calling her everyday 3 months ago, and she was telling me that she "likes" talking to him more than talking to me, what kills me is that she could be talking to him all the time now and making fun of me

1|1
135

Most Helpful Girl

  • One of the hardest things for a person to learn is that the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship ends eventually. She is thinking that this new guy is better than you or treats her better than you did because they are still in that first, initial phase. Unfortunately, she is going to have to learn that for herself.

    I know it is hard, I am trying to get my ex back right now too! I tried really hard to "make" him see that we do have a great relationship, but in the end, they have to realize this by themselves.

    Also, she is probably trying to fill the void of you with this other guy so she doesn't have to deal with the loneliness. I used to do this myself, but I finally saw that it is just a vicious cycle that only I had the power to stop.

    She knows that you are still trying to get her back, so she still "has you." This is where I am in my relationship too... and I am desperately trying to get myself to just not contact him at all. Believe me, I know it is hard.. but like I said, she is the one who has to realize what she lost... and it is hard for her to do that when she technically hasn't "lost" you yet.

    Good luck... I hope everything works out for you!

    0|2
    0|0
    • Thanks for your reply, I played that game before with her when she wanted to break up telling her that the world is full of girls and that I don't care, then I said in one of those emails that "I could" be starting to like a girl and going out with her, then I didn't contact her for 17 days, but it ended with me txting her again, it didn't work! don't you think what I said and done just made things worse?

    • Show All
    • I know it seems crazy. I really do. I tried to do the same thing you are doing now; telling him I have learned a lot, that he means so much to me, etc, and nothing worked. Granted, he didn't start dating someone else, but I have done that before in previous relationships... and yes it helps fill the void, but my relationships never lasted when it was like that.

      Seriously, just give her time... "Set her free, if she comes back she is yours... if she doesn't, she never was."

    • She said when she wants to break up it only takes her 2 months, I don't want to be regretting not doing anything in the meantime before it's too late, I know my feelings always delayed :( the 2 months period is going to end in 2 weeks, she thinks I don't want her, she is not sure wether I still can be serious with her or not, maybe? thinking of all that doesn't stop

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 12

  • Well first off she allowed the innapropriate texting with you because you let her get away with it. And if "threatening a break up" is what she did then that is what you should have done because she was obviously being disrespectful toward you and didn't even care. But the thing is you are obviously just embarassing yourself by try so desperately hard to get her back when she keeps making it clear to you over and over that she doesn't want you. I mean for crying out loud she told you that you were the worst boyfriend ever and that the guy she is with now is the best. I just don't get how you could even want her back after all that mess. I highly doubt she was lying about her boyfriend but sometimes girls will do that. And when we do that its to get guys like you to leave us alone. And you're right. Relationships are bilt on love honesty trust and a mutual respect for one another. She feels none of those things for you and I think its time that you grow up and do some soul searching. Only then will you aquire the tools that can help you be in a stable healthy relationship. If the girl is tellin you outright that she doesn't want you then you really need to leave her alone. I mean what else does she have to do or say to make you get it? I don't agree with her actions in the slightest. But I think because of her actions you need to let her go.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Half of your answer just made me feel worse, I'm talking about a girl that I knew for couple of years and she started all of this first and threatened me with breaking up million times so I wouldn't take her for granted, we planned engagement and having children and we were still talking about these things 2 months ago, that's why I'm shocked and can't believe or understand what did she do and for what reason, she had the chance to replace me in the past but she didn't do it, but why this time

    • I'm sorry but I'm just being blunt. I was with someone for over 4 years. We were planning our life and whatnot and he managed to tear apart what we had built in a matter of days. It absolutely destroyed me to the core of my soul. I completely understand. But I still had to walk away because I knew I deserved better. I don't know what the chix problem is but she really sux. You deserve a whole lot better than that. If she wantsyou back she knows where to find you but it seems like she has made up

    • Her mind and just doesn't want to be with you anymore. You need to accept it. At this point you need to take the time to worry about you and make sure that you're ok. It doesn't seem like this person cares for you at all becaue ofthe way she's treated you. Who does crap lik that? You keep begging to get her back and she keeps blowing you off. As hard as it will be you need to move on.

  • I'd just step away, it'll be hard but she's made it clear that she's moved on. Yes, she might say some things to make y ou jealous, and yes, some of what she says might not be true, but she's done with you and you're relationship. It's upsetting, but it happens. And looking back, you love her, yeah, but would you want to be with her again and put up with all of the bad things that happened with the relationship, because to me it doesn't sound like it was the picture perfect relationship. If she's going to tell you that she moved on completely and that she's living with her boyfriend, I'd just let well enough alone, she made her point and maybe, in the future, she'll realize what she did and come running back to you and you're going to be the one in love with someone else realizing that she's the worst girlfriend that you've ever had, not the other way around.

    Hope this helps,

    xsarahloveee

    0|1
    0|0
  • wow. she's totally mistreating you. I saw you deserve better. oh ok, so she's living with her new boyfriend now...um

    well you're the one who wants to be with this girl but she is showing her indecisiveness. is this what you want? if not , then you better move on because she's (in myopinion) not showing you the respect you deserve.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Stop texting/talking to her.From what you wrote, I gathered that she's kinda playing with your emotion. Start anew, get a new girlfriend or hang out more with the boys and get over her. She sounds like a person that doesn't worth your attention to me. About her having a new bf, so be it. I don't see why you should be bothered as the new guy is gonna bear with her behaviour, not you anymore so you should feel free. Yes, love was supposed to be built on trust, but it seems like there's just no love here anymore. Move on and enjoy your life.

    0|1
    0|0
  • shes a bitch..move onn

    1|2
    0|0
  • dude she must of had somebody on the slide while going out with you since she"so got over with you" but even though you have feelings for her,just move on like she did and find somebody or stay single because there are a lot of girls on this earth and she is not the only one that you can be with. and maybe while you going with somebody else,she's gonna realize the fact that you can over her too and then she's gonna start feeling bad for herself so in another words"PAYBACKS A BIATCH"! lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • To be completely honest with you it truthfully seems like she doesn't give a damn. If I were you I would try to move on! Sounds like you are the one who deserves better... afterall even if she were to take you back then you would be on thin ice for the rest of your relationship together... Everyone deserves happiness and now you just have to go out there and find it!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wow! Okay, that is heartbreaking. Sorry, but I think you should move on. I kow that's not what you want to hear. The fact is, you have to believe you deserve better. Replace her. Get on e-harmony or find some other way to get dates. Make new lady friends and see where it goes. Distract yourself with someone or something else. She kinda sounds like a b*tch.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should move on. why would you want to stick around when she has made it obvious that she doesn't want anything to do with you? Good luck on your next relationship

    1|0
    0|0
  • Man, she does not know what she wants. she probably is not the best thing for you >>right now. I know it it hurts. believe mee.. so when this happened to me we both decided to try new ppeople. then we found out there was no one better. we've been together for 3 years. just try to let her figure out what's better. leave her alone as much as possible but let her know you are still there. tell her you have found someone else but don't make it sound like you are totally moved on from her. just say you have a Gf, and you respect her decision. It s just a waiting game, if you want to wait, wait, if you dont, then you know your feelings for her weren't as strong as they could be for someone else.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should move on. Apparently she doesn't want you (I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything) or if she does want you, you deserve better. You seem like a nice guy and she seems to be a stuck up brat that thinks the world revolves around her. MOVE ON. Yeah you probably had a thing for her and still want to have that relationship, but I personally think she was cheating on you before is she moved on so quickly. Again, you seem like a nice guy, so it should be easy for you to find a girl just as nice as you! Keep your head high! =] Sorry about the news, though!

    1|1
    0|0
  • stop talking to her completely, shell come running back... it's so easy.

    I've been broken up for 5 months and got back together...

    0|0
    0|0
    • Its so NOT easy to stop talking to a person you have been with for years, and whom you love.

    • What's worse than that is when the other one doesn't care about talking to you anymore and it wouldn't make any difference to them even if you don't talk to them forever while you're thinking everyday what you want to say to them but you simply can't tell them anything anymore.

What Guys Said 5

  • Women Are Like Monkeys - They Always Grab The Next Branch Before Letting Go of the Last One

    I'm only half joking...

    ~ Robby

    0|2
    0|0
  • wow that's f***ed up bro

    you got yourself a whore...she is not worth it bro ...move on the best way to get her back is to find someone better than her...but believe me she was only using you anyways so anything is better than her...or if you really want to f*** with her head I would tell her she turned you gay anf that your thinking of warning her boyfriend about this lol...

    but sseriously dude you don't want her cause long distance never works out...and if she can get over you in a blink of an eye then she never really loved you in the first place

    0|1
    0|0
  • Read your own mail and see what you think about the writer.

    Would you have any respect for him? Do you think he has any back bone? Do you think this is a guy who can protect his woman and stand up in the world?

    If she was disrespecting you by receiving flirting texts, and threatened to beak-off with you when you wanted her to stop, you should have called her bluff. It would have been better to break-off with some dignity.

    1|0
    0|0
    • What ur talking about is part of my misery with this girl, I did try to dump her in the past for her behavior but I could never stand tears in her eyes or her feeling insecure for a moment, I forgot to say that she stabbed me in the back by building up a relationship with that guy first for a month then after that she told me she wants to break up... so literally I lost the game and that's why I asked this question in the first place, what can I do now?

    • Show All
    • No need to try to get even. It does not matter what she thinks. What matters is what you think of yourself.

    • Dont imagine that she would behave differently with other guys than she did with you. She is probably driving her new boyfriend into depression (or anger depending on his mental make up) by telling him that she likes talking to some one else more than to him. I think she had a pretty sh*tty child hood and she does not know how to be nice.

  • She sounds like a Cumplete CUNT. Tell her that her p**** stank of fish and that you now have a hot girl that craves your penis every night. This will make her insecure and jealous. she be a ho my friend.. lose her.

    0|2
    0|0
    • I'm falling within the argue between saying that to her and even make the new girl call her or something, or acting like I'm good and missing her, trying to figure out what will make her feel worse.

    • You don't think that's a tad immature. If she desnt care about you she may end up just lughing in your face and telling her new guy about it and them both laughing. I think thisgirl is a mega super bitch. Don't worry. Karma will get her better than you can. That sh*t will always come back at you.

  • I'm only 18, so I don't have too much experience with this, but something similar happened to me last year.

    I had been dating this girl for about six months, when I had to move. The move was only temporary, but she insisted that we were "losing each other" and broke up with me. I tried to get her back, and finally two months later I did. But she wasn't the same. She barely talked and only went on dates when she didn't have an excuse not to. When I asked her why, she said that I had broken her heart. After that she avoided me entirely. I haven't heard from her since.

    If you take anything from this, remember that not everything turns out like you want it to. If she does come back, it might not be in the way you wanted.

    0|0
    0|0
    • We did that many times I can't even remember, sounds like this was the last time.

    • Sorry man. I hope for the best.

Loading...