Why is he doing this?

My husband has ignored me and our kids for over a year now we finally moved out and are doing well. I have meet a great guy who spends time with us and adores my kids and the kids love him. Now all of a sudden my husband (we are filing for divorce) is coming around and asking how to fix our marriage. Why does he care now? Why is he doing this now instead of trying to fix things when I asked for a whole year?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • he was probably stuck in that "she'll never find better than me" or the "she's not ACTUALLY going to leave me or move on" and it made him complacent and indifferent.

    now that he sees you have moved on and met a great guy who is the man and father figure he never was its shaken him.

    i think you should definitely try things with this new guy who genuinely appreciates you but also have a civil and respectful relationship with your husband so that the kids aren't scarred for life

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    • PLEASE do not go back to a selfish cheater and terrible father and husband. if it took all of this to reaslise he doesn't want to lose you its DEFINITELY too little too late. you deserve happiness and a great father figure for your kids. dont break this guys heart to go back to someone who lied to, cheated on and left you.

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    • perfect!!! very mature of you... even though no one would blame you for wanting to rip his head off you are definitely going about everything the right way.

      also think of the shining example you're setting for your kids. what kind of message would it send to your kids if you went back to someone who disrespected you, cheated on you and ignored you for a year? a very bad one. you are empowering your kids in the future to walk away from terrible relationships rather than think its okay. i applaud you.. honestly

    • Thank you I do try to show the right from wrong by example. And to build up there confidence and have them believe in there selves.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Two reasons. One he doesn't like seeing you with someone and two he realizes what he lost

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    • He cheated and left us alone so why not let someone elas deal with what he didn't want to being with we asked so many times for him just to spend time with us and he wouldn't

    • I just gave you the answer why. It doesn't mean its right

  • Lol he sees you moving on and now he realize what he is letting go of. He doesn't appreciate you until you are gone so fuckem.

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  • There is no way to know why he is doing this. He probably fears losing his children. It will be them and him who suffer from this mess.

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    • He is the reason we moved he cheated and left us alone all the time even when we asked him to spend time with us

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    • I would have the same problem the guilt would eat me alive

    • I mean, when I am in a relationship, I am even constantly aware of how much attention I might be giving to another women, etc. Always staying above suspicion. No pornography, etc. She is everything to me. I just can't imagine...

What Girls Said 6

  • You are now in what I call this "Triangle Threesome" here, dear, where you're husband-soon-to-be-ex is way at the top, looking down with a frown, at both you and your... Great guy.
    He now sees this apple a t the top of his 'I lost thee' tree, hardest to get and grab now, and wants it back. It's a territorial thing, don't be fooled. I don't believe a zebra will change his stripes here, dear, and the minute he has grasped you he will... end up throwing you back on the ground again.
    Why 'Fix things' when they are not broken.. at least in your case anyway. His loss, he should have smartened up a 'Whole year' ago.. you snooze, you lose.
    Good luck. xx

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  • He's jealous.

    Before he felt like he was in control of things (by not taking caring of the kids and having your emotions be all over the place).
    Now the control is shifting (you have gained happiness and love) , things are out of his power and you have moved on.
    He doesn't like this.
    He wants his control back.

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    • That makes sense and I don't want to go back to the old situation we were in.

    • Then don't :(. He lost his opportunity.

  • He only wants what he can't have. Plus, you'll probably come out better after the divorce. He wants to save the money to take other women out when you take him back. Sounds like the second guy likes you for you. Ex husband is just using you, and confusing the kids.

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  • Because he sees you happy and now he misses his family

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  • He realises he will not see the kids much when you divorce him.

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  • You don't know what you got until it's gone. he's doing that because he dosent like the idea of another man bonding with his kids or his wife/exwife. so he's thinking we gotta make this work cause I'm not gonna have another man around you or my kids

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    • He cheated and left us alone even when we asked him to spend time with us

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    • Every time me or the kids asked to spend time with us he said he was busy that's it he was busy spending Time with another women and her children but not his own

    • I still want you to make it work

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